#20. Informing You’ll Get Drunk
Parents often wonder why their kids are so reluctant to have them as Facebook friends. Well, I guess it’s because they often write things like this! Why is it that teens love to explicitly and publicly announce the fact that they’re gonna get drunk?
I mean, the world knows that teens drink at least some booze each time they go out, but somehow they still think it’s necessary to make the world know that that’s what they’ll do. The “we poppin bottles tonightt” part is OK, but the “getting drunk as a motherfuckrrr“… I have my doubts!
#19. Explaining How Wild Your Night Was
Not only do teens like to announce how drunk they’ll get, but they also love to brag about how cool their night was. So teenage parties are usually followed by posts just like the one that follows.
Yeah, when you’re a teen, you always feel that your nights are the wildest and you want everyone to know just how crazy your party was. Let’s talk about the “sooooooi druuuubkk” part. Do you think this girl was really that drunk, or did she force those spelling mistakes just to prove her point? We’ll never know, cause teens sometimes do both!
#18. Feeling Sorry For Yourself
OK, this is as drama queen as it gets. Everyone has their ups and downs in life, but when you’re a teen, you just feel the need for making it public. You want the world to know you’re putting up with a lot, and – what’s even worse – sometimes you even plead for people’s attention!
The “bin thru way 2 much” is funny and dramatic enough, but what’s with the “sum1 inbox me 🙓! Of course, once you grow older, you realize that these types of comments undermine your dignity.
#17. Showing How Much You Love Your Friends
There is no doubt that friends are practically the most important part of any teenager’s life… and the sort of things that teens post on their Facebook proves my point! Don’t you lie to me, if you’re a millennial, you’ve probably done this at least once!
Teens, especially girls, love posting things like “LOVE my main girls!“, and they’re usually followed by weird symbols like the ones you see above. Oh, and subliminal messages like “u no who u r” is also a classic, cause teens are all about the suspense (and the intentional spelling mistakes)!
#16. When You Leave Your PC Unattended
Let’s say you invite some of your friends over to your house. Let’s say you’re chatting or fooling around and suddenly you’ve got to pee, so you head to the toilet and leave the room just for a moment. Well, this is what happens when you do that.
Teens just love writing all sorts of silly comments on their friends’ Facebook the moment in which they leave their computer or their cellphone unattended. But what I don’t get is: why don’t they delete the comment later?
#15. Subtle Indirects
Not only do teens love venting on social media, but they also love to take a swipe at other people through subtle (or not so subtle) indirect comments, just like this one.
It’s very clear that this girl felt betrayed, most likely by one of her friends or lovers, as she categorically states that some people are “sooo two-faced“. But since teens are all about the mystery, instead of publicly accusing the offender, she just subtly states “U kno who u r“. It seems like she really wanted people to know she was upset!
#14. Referring To Yourself In Third Person
Out of all the types of statuses that teenagers love to publish, this is probably the most ridiculous of all. What is it with teens that they love to refer to themselves in the third person? When did this even become a thing?
The best part is that many people (the eldest, most likely) probably don’t even understand these posts. I mean, the phrase “is sitting in the garden” is supposed to be the continuation of “Leanne Campbell”, but if you don’t get that, then it’s just a phrase without subject, and without any sense at all!
#13. Commenting With False Profiles
This type of post is among my personal favorites. It just amuses me that some people take the time to create fake profiles just to make silly comments in other people’s statuses. Let’s give teens some credit, cause if there’s something that they don’t lack is creativity!
Let’s look at this case. Not only did someone take the time to create a user named “Ancient Asteroid” to announce the end of the world, but look at all the ones that followed the user’s steps and created bizarre profiles such as “triceratops” or “cockroach”. Do you what the best part is? I bet it was the same one who created all the 5 of them!
#12. The Critical One
Uploading pictures of one’s everyday meals is something that teens and adults alike do all the time. But just as some people love to share every little detail of their life, there are some others who just love to criticize and complain!
Obviously, not only teens are fond of being so critical, but let’s just say that they don’t mince their words as much compared to adults. This boy here doesn’t seem to care about the food pictures that his friends publish on Facebook, and he has no intention of hiding his feelings!
#11. Wise Life Lessons
Sometimes, teens just love to pretend they know it all, and they attempt to surprise their audience with what they feel are super valuable life lessons. Let’s be straight, sometimes these statuses as cliché as it gets!
The funniest part is that these life lessons are usually aimed at someone in particular – usually a classmate – but of course, since teens love suspense, these messages are always meant to be impersonal. Oh, one last thing: do teens realize that their “lessons” are a bit less credible if they have so many spelling mistakes?
#10. Blatant Flirting
If there’s one thing that teens love to do, is to flirt unashamedly on social media. But most of the time they flirt in this naive, even childing way as if pretending to be little kids. If you don’t get what I’m saying, here’s a clear example.
“The poking war is ON hahaha“… Seriously? Can there be a more teenage way of flirting? Besides, another thing that teens love to do is to make the world know that there’s something between you and your crush. If you flirt on someone’s Facebook wall instead of through a private message, your statuses become a source of gossip!
#9. The Mysterious Status About Your Love Life
As we’ve said, teenagers love to cast doubt on other people, especially when it comes to revealing information about their love life. Since they’re all about the mystery, teens must have felt extremely happy the day Facebook incorporated “In a complicated relationship” as an option for the relationship status.
But let’s take a moment and appreciate how much of a drama queen this teenager is. Not only is he “in a complicated relationship”, but he’s in a complicated relationship “today”. That probably means they picked up a fight, but they’ll make up a few hours later. Oh, kids!
#8. Meaningful Lyrics
Music is an important part of any teenager’s life, and they usually express this through social media by posting parts of their favorite lyrics on their status. But more often than not, they choose lyrics that are either way over-dramatic or a bit cliché.
What’s worse is that these lyrics often contain some sort of hidden message that is directed towards some other friend, boyfriend, crush, or lover. This guy, for instance, wrote: “I just wanna hide cause it’s you I miss“. I’ll bet you five bucks that his whole class will be messaging each other to guess who he’s talking about.
#7. Acting Like You Were Famous
What is it with teens that sometimes they act as if they were famous? For some reason, it’s very common for teens to post things like “ask me a question through private message and I’ll answer it on my status”. Come on, who are you, Oprah?
Besides, the idea of reading a question sent by inbox and answering it publicly makes no sense at all, other than becoming the talk of the town for a few hours, because people will obviously be wondering what the question was.
#6. Complaining About Your Parents
Arguing and whining about your parents is part of any teen’s life, and I’m sure we’ve all seen some of our friends do this on Facebook at least once. The funniest part is that sometimes, just to be cool, teens complain about the silliest of reasons.
For instance, this girl posted a status ranting about the noise her mom made with the vacuum. I bet that in a few years’ time, she’ll be longing the days in which she had someone vacuum the floor for her.
#5. Updates Nobody Cares About
More often than not, teens just post random comments that make no sense at all. For instance, why do they keep giving us constant updates on what they’re thinking or what their mood is?
The most hilarious part is that sometimes, these statuses include only one single word! Like, “tired“. Each time I read comments like this one, I can’t help but think “did anyone ask for the update“? I know, I’m being too harsh, but I just can’t help it, it’s too funny!
#4. Seeking Attention
You can’t call yourself a teen if you’ve never done stupid things in order to seek people’s attention. Because the truth is that when you’re a teen you just can’t stand being bored!
This explains why so many people put statuses like “someone inbox me am sooooooo bored“. But you what the worst part is? Sometimes, the desperation caused by boredom leads you to talk to people you normally wouldn’t, beginning with your exes.
#3. Asking For Homework
Of course, there’s always the lazy one who never knows where he’s standing and uses Facebook to ask for homework. But this poses a question: why would someone ask for homework through a Facebook status instead of sending an inbox to some of your classmates?
I think it’s part of the character. I mean, not caring about school is something a cool guy would do, so pretending what the homework is could potentially make you look good. Or maybe he’s just the worst and really never remembers what his homework is. Either way, it makes me laugh.
#2. Inspiring Quotes
More often than not, teens go through a rush of inspiration and wake up feeling like Shakespeare. What do they do when they wake up feeling like Shakespeare? They post an uplifting quote, that are usually cheesy reflections on life.
This girl here, for instance, posted “You have to look through the rain to see the rainbow“. Now that’s some powerful and meaningful symbolism she’s got there!
#1. Empowering Statements
As we’ve said before, teenagers just love to vent and to open up on Facebook and other social media. But sometimes, they express their feelings by posting some sort of bold, empowering statement. Let’s look at an example.
“If u dnt appreciate me at my worst u dnt deserve me at my best“, says this girl. Let’s give her some credit, if there’s something she doesn’t lack, it’s self-esteem! This was in 2010, so I bet she’s laughing at herself now!