20 Features We Look For The Most In Our Partners

Tired of watching all the romance movies and TV dramas available trying to understand what romance is about? Fortunately for us, romance has stopped being a complicated puzzle. Scientists have also been trying to understand how love and attraction work and, believe it or not, they have discovered that our minds play the most important part in determining what features we find the most charming.

Read on to learn what these features are and make sure not to miss #16, #12 and #3.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

#20. Luscious Lips

Irish poet and playwright Oscar Wilde wisely stated:

In judging of a beautiful statue, the aesthetic faculty is absolutely and completely gratified by the splendid curves of those marble lips that are dumb to our complaint, the noble modeling of those limbs that are powerless to help us.”

Photo: Courtesy of The List

One of the features we’re attracted to the most are the lips. Manchester University scientists have found that lips are a woman’s most charming feature. Aren’t Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson’s lips bewitching? What’s more, the study revealed men find pink and red lipsticks more alluring. Thus, remember to have a good red or pink lipstick with you when going out!

#19. Dilated Pupils

Do you want to know how to keep your lover’s attention? Well, whoever said that the eyes are the windows to the soul wasn’t completely wrong. It so happens that pupils, those openings at the very center of our eyeballs, which are surrounded by the irises (the color part of our eyes regulating the amount of light that enters), reflect more than what’s on the outside.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

When you find someone physically attractive, it seems that your pupils dilate a bit more. What’s more, this also helps you to win your intended bae’s attention as people are apparently attracted to dilated pupils. This is great to know! From now on, always remember to fix your eyes at your intended love, as it will be your opportunity to show your charm.

#18. White Pearls

This time we’re talking about those beautiful teeth that show whenever you smile. Not only do white shiny teeth make you look younger but they make you more attractive as well. Apparently, researchers discovered that people aren’t attracted to yellow teeth, and we understand why: they’re generally linked with bad oral hygiene and, most times, we associate them with rotten teeth.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

At this point, we don’t need to tell you to go to the dentist frequently, brush and floss your teeth every day. Remember that white teeth are considered a sign of good health and genes and evolution has made sure to push that association into our subconscious to help us find our partners. So don’t keep postponing that visit to the dentist!

#17. Broad, Bright Smile

Rashida Jones once said, “Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.” The wise actress is definitely right. It’s been discovered that there is a close connection between a person’s smile and the attraction others feel when they see it. This deep-rooted relationship seems to have been caused by evolution too.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

It goes without a saying that, when we’re talking about smiling, we’re referring to the sunny grin and not to the weak or rueful smile. In research, scientists have found that men are enticed by women who give a broad, dazzling smile. Take this into account if you want to improve your seduction techniques.

Read our favorite next!

#16. The Sounds Of The Heart

People find sexually alluring the sounds that come out of our mouths when we speak, that is, our voice. It has been found that while women prefer men with low, husky voices, men find women who speak in a high-pitched voice more agreeable. The reason seems to be related to the mating choices developed throughout years of evolution.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

It seems that high-pitched voices are associated with a smaller body size, which arouses a person’s protective instincts. In contrast, lower-pitched voices are linked to dominance and protection. Bear in mind that smoking deepens your voice. However, smoking also causes your voice to be hoarse and, among other health problems, it yellows your teeth, which isn’t a pleasing feature, as we’ve previously mentioned.

#15. Sexy Hips

We’ve just said that smaller body sizes evoke a protection instinct and some find them alluring for that reason. Still, to make the affairs of the heart even more baffling, it’s been observed that men prefer women with a larger hip-to-waist ratio (WHR) than women with smaller ones. So, you may have a skinny waist, broad hips, a big behind or any combination thereof.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Research has shown that these are indicators of health and fertility. Thus, Shakira and Sir Mix-a-Lot were singing no lies. Regardless of this, as long as you have a healthy body, it doesn’t matter how big or small yours is: all body shapes are gorgeous and appealing in their own way.

Can you guess the next one?

#14. The Color Of Passion

So far, we’ve mentioned only physical features that we find appealing to look at. However, it turns out that our outfits and color choices can also make a difference when looking for a lover. This isn’t surprising if we consider that we also have our favorite colors. Can you guess which color is more favored by women and men alike?

Photo: Courtesy of The List

A color stereotype study used the picture of the same woman wearing different colors: in one of them, she was dressed in blue whereas, in the second photo, she was wearing red. The results showed that the woman in the red outfit was found more tempting and sexy than the one in blue. Additionally, people were more willing to date the lady in red than to date her counterpart dressed in blue. Now you know what to wear for your next date!

#13. Language

No, this time we’re not talking about French or Spanish. This time we’re referring to the way we can use our body language to convey that we find the other party fascinating. For example, we’ve mentioned smiling as a feature we find sexually alluring. However, you should pay attention to whether you’re looking all the time to the floor or even if you’re “tangled”.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Remember to untangle yourself: if you’re sitting at a bar, you’ll probably come across as someone hard to approach if you’re crossing your arms and legs all the time. To show interest, you can also lean in, tilt your head, and even point your feet towards your love interest. Also, blushing is a way to show attraction. We can’t control blushing but we can use makeup and add a rosy blush on the cheeks before going out, right?

Do you think you can guess the next one?

#12. It’s All About Symmetry

This is one of our favorites and it might be the most important feature according to researchers. Still, we can’t do much about it: facial symmetry. In other words, this happens when the right side of the face looks identical to the left side. Everything matches with precision. It seems that most celebs and models have symmetrical faces.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Scientists still don’t know why people are more inclined to choose a symmetrical face rather than a face that isn’t so symmetrical. Some believe it has to do with evolutionary advantage (symmetry as an indicator of good health) while others believe it has to do with perceptual bias (our minds are “hard-wired” to process symmetrical stimuli effortlessly). Whatever the reason, we can’t fight our genes, right?

#11. Brim With Confidence

If you thought that attraction was all about appearances, you’re half-right. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t inherit the best family features because you can always work on your abilities and qualities to change for the better and make yourself desirable. One way of increasing your sex appeal is to brim with confidence. Confident people strike others as more interesting and irresistible.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Even though it’s great to exude confidence, keep it cool: confidence may be a double-edged weapon and others may not like an overly assertive person. You also don’t want to appear too desperate. We can’t give you a piece of advice on how to build your confidence but, as long as you’re satisfied with who you are, you’ll probably leave a positive impression on others and you’ll appear more tempting.

#10. Finding Your Inner Self

The wise Greek people carved near the entrance of the Delphi sanctuary the maxim “know thyself”. More than 2000 years later, this precept continues to be a good piece of advice. To know oneself and to be self-aware are two sides of the same coin, since understanding oneself involves understanding one’s true nature and character.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

In the words of psychologist Daniel Goleman, self-awareness is “knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions.” In a few words, it comprehends all that helps you answer the question “who am I?” such as your habits, desires, needs, likes and dislikes. Being self-aware implies that you can see your strengths and weaknesses, which you can work on in order to build your confidence.

#9. The Real You

Authenticity is closely connected to the previous features. Authenticity plus vulnerability gives people the confidence to be open about themselves and to know when they aren’t comfortable in their own skin.
Being genuine will help you connect to others in a more meaningful and deeper way. Others will perceive you as being levelheaded and unafraid of showing yourself as you’re.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Matchmaker and dating expert Amanda Rose exclaimed, “there’s something about a person’s ability to be unfiltered and raw that creates connection, [and]when we feel more connected to someone, the attraction level rises.” So, stop any pretenses and show yourself to the world the way you are! There is someone out there who finds the real you attractive.

#8. Show Your Vulnerability

It may be hard to open yourself up to a level where others can see what makes you vulnerable: your weaknesses, limitations, anxieties, and fears. Still, you’d be choosing to show yourself just the way you are, without hiding neither the good nor the bad or ugly parts. It takes a lot of courage showing your vulnerable side and you may be even thinking what the point of taking such a high risk is.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Opening yourself up can be genuinely rewarding. It can make you more relatable rather than being perceived as indifferent or too flawless, according to Yvonne Thomas, a psychologist specialized in relationships and self-esteem. Researcher Brene Brown has even claimed that “embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.” Don’t you think it’d be worth the try?

#7. Take A Chance!

If you have the guts to show your vulnerable side, you have two alluring personality traits: vulnerability and courage! Being all about guts, courage or the ability to act in spite of being afraid is a way to convey your resiliency and bravery. Of course, we’re talking about the ability to take a calculated risk and not a reckless opportunity that could put yourself in harm’s way.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Hence, avoid doing a crazy stunt just to impress your loved one. What you could do is remain true to yourself and prove that you aren’t afraid of standing up for yourself and others, of defending your convictions even if you feel intimidated to act. You’ll end up proving your resiliency and strength.

#6. Be Open-Minded

The Dalai Lama once stated, “An open heart is an open mind.” His wise words are true: being open to experience is considered an attractive feature too. If you are curious, have an open imagination or love to learn new things and have new experiences, you possess a quality that will make you more desirable. It’s cool to be interested in the world around us!

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Be ready to experience another culture, new food, a different place even if it means walking into an ethnic restaurant. This is a form to prove that you are open to change. The great physicist Albert Einstein said, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” If you are open-minded, it’ll be easier for you to tackle new situations and become wiser.

#5. Empathy Is Key

A good way of becoming more empathetic is by trying to understand other people’s feelings and problems. Being open to new experiences as well as having curiosity can help us to be more sensitive and feel closer to others. It’s the perfect way to build new bonds. This is key when trying to find a good mate. Also, the other person will find you more appealing if you can show some empathy.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Take into account that if you can be more attentive, others will feel it and show the same level of interest in and attention with you. As a result, you’ll be able to connect on a deeper level and create stronger bonds with your love interest. As this may even help you improve your chemistry with your special one, so don’t forget to put it into practice!

#4. Give, Give, Give!

Perhaps we don’t need to say it but being selfish is a major turn down. Attracting another person means that you want to share what you have with the other one. This is why it wasn’t a great surprise when scientists discovered that, to be more sexually appealing, you need to be more generous and show a kind heart.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Don’t be afraid to open your heart and show that you care about others! Be ready to share your knowledge and life experiences and never hesitate to give a helping hand. Maybe you can do some charity work. You never know when you’ll find love, right?

Don’t forget to check our top favorite!

#3. Have a Good Sense Of Humor

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” or so the old saying goes. If you’re a person who isn’t afraid of showing your playful side, then probably someone has already noticed you and thinks of you as appealing. Research suggests that those who can be playful and know how to have fun attract the attention of others easily.

Photo: Courtesy of The List

So, don’t hesitate to have some fun and be ready to laugh at yourself more! Who cares if you act a little silly sometimes! It’s an amazing way to release some of the stress and worries of our daily lives and, at the same time, to draw others’ attention. A light and playful attitude may bring you success, love and goodwill, don’t forget!

#2. Don’t Be A Bright Spark

Saying something wrong or thoughtless won’t help you with romance so be careful about talking about a topic you know nothing about. Scientists have discovered that our species is hard-wired to be attracted to smart people. It seems that Hollywood has it all wrong so it’s time to show your nerdy side and start studying to become more knowledgeable!

Photo: Courtesy of The List

Don’t dumb yourself down and embrace your intelligence. You may start by reading a little every day, studying a new language, learning to play an instrument, playing chess or any other games that’ll help you exercise your brain. Also, don’t neglect your body: working out a little every day will also help you keep a sharp mind. Remember that to be a brainiac is attractive!

#1. Build Your Happiness

This is our last advice: even if you don’t have each and every trait we’ve just mentioned, don’t worry. Every one of us is different and we all have different likes and dislikes; we all find attractive different traits and quirks, so what I like about you may not be the same of what you find desirable in another person. What’s more, tastes can change!

Photo: Courtesy of The List

It’s also important to remember that life isn’t all about romance. As long as you lead a happy and successful life, it doesn’t matter if you are enjoying life on your own. These pieces of advice are useful if you want to change yourself for your own personal and professional benefit and become a more cultivated person. All that matters is that you love yourself and are proud of how you live your life.

Related posts: