25 Things Marriage Has Taught Me

Michelle Page has been happily married to her husband for the past 25 years. So for those of you who have lost faith in long-term ever-lasting relationships, I must tell you: keep your hopes up!

But of course, her marriage hasn’t precisely been all roses: Michelle and her partner have surely faced their ups and downs. So even though marriage can be a wonderful life-changing journey, it sure requires a great deal of effort and work. After spending a quarter of a century side by side to her husband, Michelle has decided to share with us the main things that their marriage has taught her.

 

 

25. ‘Till The Storm Passes By

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One of the toughest challenges in every marriage is learning that a fight is not the end of the world. On the contrary, fights are part of any relationship, and overcoming them strengthens your bond. So never give up on your relationship when facing any minor setbacks. Keep on going!

24. Take No For An Answer

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There is no doubt that sex is a key aspect of any marriage. Therefore, it’s important for every couple to come to an understanding of each spouse’s wants and needs regarding sex. However, it is equally important to come to terms with the fact that, at times, your partner may not be in the mood for sex. So even though it’s important to enjoy sex, it’s also important to respect one another and learn to take no for an answer.

23. Know When To Remain Silent

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Honesty is a key aspect of any relationship. However, some things are better left unsaid, especially when it comes to criticisms, whines or complaints. So basically… learn when to remain silent, or otherwise you might end up hurting somebody’s feelings.

If you happen to be an impulsive and passionate person, always bear in mind the following piece of advice!

22. Anger Management

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Who hasn’t regretted saying things they didn’t mean to, especially after sudden rushes of anger? Perhaps, one of the greatest challenges in any relationship is learning how to deal with your anger. So if you’re pissed at something that your partner has said or done, it is wise to simply take a deep breath, and talk things through afterwards.

21. Be United In Front Of Your Children

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Even though it’s important to privately discuss how to handle disciplinary issues regarding your children, you should not question, argue or quarrel with your partner in front of the kids. After all, when it comes to raising your children, it’s important to support one another, and present a united front.

20. Affirm Your Love For Them

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It’s common for women to complain about their husbands when they get together for coffee. But just take a minute and think how you would feel if your husband spoke the same way about you. Instead of complaining, you should constantly affirm your love for your husband, not only when you’re with your friends, but also when it’s just the two of you!

But this doesn’t end here. This advice is directly related to the following one!

19. Don’t Embarass Your Partner In Public

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You should always respect your spouse. Thus, don’t disregard, belittle or criticize your partner in front of others. In turn, don’t publicly behave in ways that might embarrass them. Do you know what you can do? Take a look at the following advice to see the answer.

18. Surprise Them

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Isn’t it nice to wake up with a freshly cooked breakfast or with an unexpected bouquet of flowers? In the same way that you probably enjoy these gestures, it doesn’t hurt to behave in the same way every now and then. How can you do this? By cooking their favorite meal or sending them a text showing that you’re thinking about them, for instance. In other words, by making them feel loved.

17. Not Your Child

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Another good piece of advice is to never treat your partner as a child. In other words, don’t be condescending; don’t give them orders all day long. On the contrary, show them the respect and support that they very much deserve.

16. Seek Forgiveness

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Nobody manages to live without ever dropping the ball. However, if you happen to make any mistake, don’t hide it from your partner. In fact, marriage has taught me that you should do the very opposite: admit your mistakes and seek forgiveness.

But what if it’s your partner the one that screws up? Keep in mind Michelle’s next piece of advice.

15. Learning To Forgive

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If your husband messes up, it’s important to talk things over, as well as to discuss the way in which their acts affect you. However, it’s inappropriate for you to punish them for their acts. In other words, be forgiving.

14. The Importance Of Cooperation

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Of course, every couple operates in its own unique way when it comes to managing careers and raising children: while sometimes the woman is the one who dedicates herself to raising the kids and performing chores and the man is the one who dedicates to his work, sometimes it works the other way around. What’s important is to remember that both of you have responsibilities. So if your husband is the one who stays home raising the kids, put effort to your work. And vice-versa. It works both ways!

13. Be Thankful

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Never forget to be thankful for being blessed you with your partner. Even when they get on your nerves or annoy you, you should still be thankful for having them by your side. Instead of concentrating on their negative aspects, learn to appreciate their qualities.

12. Enjoy The Simple Things In Life

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Never expect marriage to simply be a bed of roses. Sometimes, marriage is also about hard work, discussing one’s problems, and maybe even performing dull chores with the help of one another. So basically, try to find joy even in the simplest things, like going to the groceries together, or waiting at the bus stand.

11. No-One Is A Mind Reader

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Nobody is capable of reading someone else’s mind… Not even your partner! So if they ask you what you want to do during the weekend, or what meal you want to have for dinner, don’t reply “Whatever” or “I don’t care”, expecting them to magically satisfy your wishes. Basically, just be straight.

10. Never Betray

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Never betray your partner. So if they respectfully ask you not to do something, you should stick to their wishes. If you disagree with them, discuss it privately, instead of acting against their wishes behind their back. To put it plainly: be respectful.

9. Don’t Be Unfaithful

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Each and every couple faces their own hardships. But no matter what the problem is, always remember that seeking comfort in another person is never the solution. On the contrary, it will make things worse, and maybe even irreparable. So don’t cheat on them, nor expect another person to fix your relationship problems for you.

8. Learn To Be Helpful

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One of the main roles in a marriage is to be helpful to your partner. However, at times, your own idea of help may differ from their idea of what’s helpful and what’s not. So put an effort into helping your partner the way they prefer to be helped, instead of the way you would rather help them. How can one achieve this? Through communication. By listening to one another.

7. Value Your Partner

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Each and every person is blessed with his or her own character, experiences, perspectives and opinions. So learn to value your partner’s uniqueness! So, if there’s anything troubling you, don’t doubt to ask for your partner’s advice. Who knows, they might even surprise you with a skill or knowledge that you never knew they had!

6. Something’s Gotta Give

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When you’re single, life is simpler in a way…. Specially if you live by yourself. You can go to bed at any time you want, have dinner at whichever time suits you best… well, you get the point. But when you’re married, these things change. Basically, because both of you must come to an agreement on a wide series of everyday issues. This means that it’s a give-and-take, and sometimes you have to compromise. Can you imagine yourself fighting over what meal to cook every single night? I certainly can’t!

5. It’s All A Matter Of Compromise

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Not all issues are as simple and trivial as agreeing on what time to have dinner. Some decisions are more decisive, such as whether or not to have children, or deciding which city to live in. When it comes to such issues, compromise is essential. Sometimes, establishing compromises may involve arguments, but just remember that this is part of any long-term relationship.

4. It’s A Cycle

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As you can see, marriage isn’t all happiness. Each and every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be times in which you may suffer emotional and maybe even economic hardships. So don’t ever forget the following: hard times are normal, and eventually they will pass!

3. Don’t Lose Your Identity

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Unfortunately, many people begin to gradually isolate themselves after getting married. They stop going out with their friends, they stop replying their messages, and slowly begin to lose confidence with them. But one of the main things marriage has taught me is the importance of not cutting off your friendships, as well as not giving up on your hobbies and interests. Never stop being who you are!

If you felt that this advice was useful, then don’t forget to read the following one.

2. The Importance Of Space

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In the same way that you should preserve your friends and your hobbies, the same goes for your partner. So respect your spouse’s relationships, let them keep their friends and family. In other words, don’t control or manipulate them. As previously said, it works both ways. But this doesn’t end here: take a look at Michelle’s last advice!

1. It’s Not All Bliss

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The first six months of a relationship are usually pretty intense: you suddenly find yourself immersed in a permanent state of happiness, and you and your partner simply can’t get your hands off each other. But it’s quite naïve to expect this phase to last forever. So being married doesn’t mean that you’ll live a life of constant glee.

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