Fathers Tell Us Your “Don’t Tell Your Mother About This” Moments?

My son randomly walked to the kitchen, 3am (was finishing up some call of duty) and he saw me eating ice cream. So I got him a bowl and we were whispering like nerds (he was 4) and I said “don’t tell mom” and he said, “don’t tell mom!”

Didn’t do the dishes the following morning and my wife asked who had ice cream, and this little rat pointed right at me lol

My dad has passed away so I’ll tell this on his behalf:

TMy sister was maybe 10 or 11. My dad was very worried and had been waiting all day for us to come home from school. When we got home he pulled her aside saying he needed to have a serious talk with her. He said to her “I was looking for a pencil, and found this in your desk” and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with some dried plant material. She said, “oh, catnip?” He thought it was pot. We would make little cat toys with catnip and the bag had ripped so she put it in a ziplock bag. He sighed a huge sigh of relief and laughed and told her he thought she was doing drugs and asked her not to tell our mom. He was so embarrassed!

Saying this in honour of my dad as he is very old and does not Reddit, he once cut the end of my toe off as a baby cutting my sharp baby nails and my screaming brought in my brother. He joined forces to get me all bandaged up and told my mother I’d banged it into a wall or trapped it in a door or something? My mum found out (and by extension so did I) when I was 10.

This last Christmas my four-year-old helped my wife wrap one of my gifts. It was late so I was working.

The next day, while my wife was at work, she came running through from her bedroom first thing and yelled excitedly "daddy! Daddy! I helped wrap your gift it's a surprise it's a slushie maker!" "Honey that's awesome but you aren't supposed to tell me that" "I know, I know, but it's a slushie maker!" "If you know not to tell me then why did you tell me?" "Because I'm just so excited to make slushies with you!"

I was crying with laughter at this point and told her that it's an awesome gift but to keep gifts secret, and I told her we wouldn't tell mummy so she wouldn't be disappointed that I knew what it was. I ended up telling her that evening because it was just too funny and cute.

Not a father but I was with my dad and we thought it was a good idea to start a small fire, on the porch, the wooden porch. It was made of mostly paper and we made sure to scatter the embers and everything but after we went inside and to bed, the wind must’ve kicked up because we came outside the next day and there was a giant hole burned into the porch. My dad just told me,”hey don’t tell your mom, I’ll get it fixed”, he then proceeded to cover it with a small table. She found out anyway and we’re pretty lucky that the house didn’t burn down.

Not a real "don't tell your mother about this" moment, but when I was little, my dad had a workshop in the garage where he'd do woodwork. I'd come out and talk to him while he worked, and he'd let me sit on the car that was parked in the garage. He framed it as something that was so bad and edgy and we couldn't tell my mom, and I was five, so I believed it and felt so cool without actually doing anything wrong or dangerous.

One day I decided to pull a sick day at school and came downstairs and saw that my dad was making a coffee, I asked him what he was doing and why he wasn’t at work and he said I could ask you the same question. We stood in silence for a moment and he said I won’t tell your mum if you won’t. We had a good laugh about it and he let me have the day off.

One night when I was about 8, after I had gone to bed, my Dad was playing a Nintendo game, Legend of Zelda I think. We had both been playing it but we were stuck. He finally found a secret passage, paused the game, and came upstairs to wake me up. He told me he figured out where we were stuck, "snuck" me downstairs in a blanket (I'm sure my mom knew), and I got to stay up after midnight on a school night, hiding under a blanket, to see where the hidden passage went. It was a silly little incident, but very memorable.

When my wife's at work, I will take my daughter (4year old) out for breakfast, then we will go on a small adventure around a shop of her choice and pretend whatever she wants, last time we went to a car parts shop and rolled tires around as we were freeing the rollings from the monster, so far my wife doesn't believe her when she, later on, grassed me up. Tbh it’s the only thing pre-Covid I miss doing.

Dad was putting new roof shingles on. I was probably 3 maybe 4. I asked if I could help. He said if I could climb the ladder sure. I was always climbing so that was no issue. Climbed right on up and started handing him shingles. It would have been a "don't tell your mother" moment had she not come home from grocery shopping. After several back and forth of "Where are you" and "Up here mom" she figured it out and flipped out. "WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!".

When I was about 6 or 7 we were really hard up for money at the time, so we cut down on all expenses, saving change, etc. My mom would go out of town for work every other weekend. My dad would save up a few dollars over the weeks, take me to Waffle House for breakfast, go on a walk on the beach, then take me home and let me play the I Spy computer game on his work computer. He would always teasingly tell me not to tell mom about Waffle House, I don’t think she would have been mad but it was fun to have something just the 2 of us would do together. I love my dad ❤️

My dad used to wake me up at night when I was in middle school to watch Jackass with him. We would be absolutely wheezing with stifled laughter while my mom snored through it all.

I took both kids out at around 13 to show them how to drive. Just in big empty parking lots or in the neighborhood but they loved it and I enjoyed a little secret with them for a while.

Female coworker of mine was miserable at work one day. I asked her what was wrong...she told me it was her anniversary, and she knew her husband had forgotten. She had pre-teen girls at home during summer vacation....I knew her home phone number (pre-cell phone era). I called her home phone and one kid picked up. Explained to the kid who I was and that she needed to call Dad at work and remind him it was Mom and Dad's anniversary....and don't tell Mom OR Dad I called.

The next day she was all smiles, gosh he DID remember, brought home flowers and took her to dinner. Mission Accomplished. Not a word was ever said about this.... Until 6 years later, when she left the company. She gave me a hug at a farewell luncheon, and whispered: "my kids ratted you out. Thank you".

At 2 weeks old. I took my son out of our room to give him a bottle and let mom sleep, the bottle was successful and I fell asleep and he fell asleep on my tummy. He woke me up mad as hell on the floor. We agreed to never talk about it again.

When my son was 6 I was playing Grand theft Auto late at night. He wakes up and comes to the living room, tells me he can’t sleep, and asks can he watch me play. I say he can but not to tell his mom he agrees with a big smile. Maybe after about an hour he is playing and I’m watching and helping him. He can’t stop laughing driving into people and running from the cops. I was telling him to watch out for the 5-0 and he asks me what that means, so I tell him it’s the cops, he just shrugs and keeps playing. Now fast forward about a week later and we are all driving in the car. All I hear is a scream of “Dad watch out it’s the 5-0!” And I absolutely start crying from laughing so hard all while his mother is questioning where he learned that. He just says “YouTube.” She found out later that I let him play GTA, but I hope the memory of that is as special to him as it is to me.

My dad and I (around 5 years old) were on our way home from a car show when we were getting followed by the cops. My dad struggled to put on his seatbelt quickly in hopes he wouldn't get a ticket. Unfortunately, we got pulled over. This might have been the first time EVER that I saw a cop this close up let alone speak to one. I was a deer in headlights the whole time.

Well, with a cop on either side of the car, the officer leaned in and asked my dad why he was swerving. That DINGUS told the cops I was tickling him. The cops looked at me straight in the eyes and asked if this was true. I was too scared to say anything and just nodded yes. The officers smiled and said, "Never to do that again while your father is driving, ok?" They left without any further words and my dad gave me the lecture of 'don't tell your mom.'

I'll speak for my dad here:

He had just gotten a really old motorcycle while we were visiting his parents at their farm in a semi-desert area. Note: He's never ridden a motorcycle before AND his youngest brother died in a motorcycle accident.

I remember coming outside in the late afternoon and I saw my dad absolutely covered in scrapes, cuts, and bruises all over his body, but mostly on his legs that had been bare. I freaked out and he assured me he was fine and explained that he had fallen down a mountain nearby while on this motorcycle.

I don't remember if the bike was salvageable, but I do remember him turning to me, putting on a very serious face, and saying:

"Absolutely do not tell your grandmother about this." Even at like 50, he was that scared of his mother.

When l was 12 or so I walked into my dad's office to find him counting money. He says don't tell mom and you'll find out what its for. So I don't say a thing. Two days later he wakes me up early to run errands with him. We came back with a new (used, but new for us) car. He also said if I don't tell how much he spent on it he'll let me drive it. It was only a couple hundred dollars but we were broke and she would have been mad. My mother tried so hard to find out but I kept the secret. So anytime we were in an open space like an empty lot he would let me drive it. I felt like the coolest kid in middle school knowing how to drive a car. Again, don't tell your mother he says. It was our secret thing and I'll cherish those memories forever.

When I was younger my dad and I would always go to the movies together, it was our thing. I always looked forward to it. Also, when I was about 11, we would often watch family guy or South Park together; certainly not age-appropriate, but nothing too terrible I don’t think.

However one day he took me to see Team America: World Police when it came out (made by the guys who did South Park). I think he realized his mistake during the puppet dirty scene, and immediately after said “don’t tell your mom about this”.

My dad took me and my sister out on a bike ride. My sister had her own bike while I was sitting in the kiddie seat on his. At some point, we come to a stop, and I guess my sister was still a little unsteady on her bike because she started wobbling. In a bid to help, my dad leaned over to steady her, so much so that I flipped right out of the seat (in true 90s fashion there was only the single buckle to keep me in) and landed right onto the asphalt.

I was fine except for the deep scrapes right across my face and abdomen. It was completely an accident but my dad panicked and told both of us “oh god don’t tell mom” and ushered us home to patch me up.

He caught some hell from mom because he couldn’t hide a face injury especially when it started scabbing over into an ugly mess but he impressively managed to conceal the rest by volunteering to be the one to bathe me and put me to bed every night. It got found out anyway a couple of weeks later when we were playing with an inflatable pool and a family friend was like “goodness what is all that?!”

When I was very little, dad worked first shift and mom worked some evenings. Dad liked to watch The Twilight Zone and the like. I enjoyed them too, but would get scared after he put me to bed and they played hell getting me to sleep. Hence, mom ruled that I was not allowed to watch them anymore.

Every time mom was at work, I would wheedle until dad let me stay up late and watch his shows with him. I would promise that "I'm bigger now, I won't get scared, I'll go right to sleep". And every time, mom would get home from work at 10 PM and I'd still be awake, wide-eyed and scared of the dark.

One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice cream after my four-year-old daughter went to bed. She came downstairs and 'caught' me. So I offered her a small bite, but since she was supposed to be in bed, I said "don't tell mom." She assured me she wouldn't. My wife wouldn't have cared anyway but it was a fun little game to play.

After she went up to bed and I was down on the couch, she snuck into the master bedroom where mom was resting. She told mom that I had let her have some ice cream, and she was afraid of "sugar bugs" so could she please brush her teeth again.

My wife just laughed at me the next day. Little shit ratted me out to brush her teeth, something she doesn't like doing anyway.

I was having a good heart-to-heart with my step dad as a teen. We were chilling in the Shop where he does most of his odd job work, and by the end of our conversation, he pulls out his bong and asks "Wanna keep going? But don't tell your mom she will throw my ass through a window" Ironically enough the way they met was at a bar and my step dad was hitting on her and she said she could throw him across the bar, he dared her, so she did. He told me that was the moment he knew he would fall in love with her.

My stepson was 6 years old and had a little accident on his pants yesterday. I was knocking on the bathroom door because I had to use it. He yells out "DON'T COME IN I HAD AN ACCIDENT, GO AWAY!" I asked him what accident? He said "Go to your room I had an accident" So I asked him if he needed help cleaning it up he said "ok come in then" I open the door and there he is underwear on the floor and a paper towel in his hand filled with poop. It took a lot for me to not laugh in his face. I was proud of him for doing a pretty good job of cleaning the mess. I rinsed his britches we got him changed and he told me to get the laundry done so we knocked that out before mommy got back from the store and she is none the wiser... We look like we did chores instead of playing all-day

I was in middle school, my father gradually bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids and himself and the 5 of us would play World of Warcraft together for many days and always log off one hour before mom got home. We’d rush all the chores in that one hour. That’s when we had teamwork at its finest. She never knew we all played cause she thought it was the devil

My grandpa (he’s a father) took us fishing when my brother and I were 5 and 8. He saw a lure stuck in a tree, like 50’ up a cliff face on the other side of the stream, and cast after it. Literally got his lure stuck on the same branch as the other lure first try (how?). Sat us down on the bank, told us in these exact words, that we were “never allowed to tell grandma about this”, and put his waders on. Waded across the full runoff mountain creek and climbed the damn cliff with full waist-high rubber waders. Retrieved both lures, downclimbed it, came and got us, and walked back to grandma cooking us dinner hand in hand.

I told grandma at his funeral. She smiled, cried, and was pissed at him.

My dad and I were emptying the car of a half side of beef to the freezer when I noticed that he was having some issues holding the packages and there was a thick bandage peeking out of the cuff of his shirt with some blood on it. I asked him what was wrong with his wrist, to which he replied "A glass shield on an electric meter shattered at work and slit my wrist. I had to get stitches. Don't tell your mother"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! DAD HURT HIMSELF!"

"I said DONT tell your mother!"

My dad taught me how to play "Throw rocks", where you toss a handful of rocks in the air directly above you and run away before they hit you. I was playing it one day with my cousin and got clunked on the head by a big one and bled all over my face and shirt collar. I went crying to dad and he paid me a dollar and a piece of gum to keep quiet about the throw rocks game and just tell mom my cousin threw it at me. My relationship with my cousin has been irreversibly damaged since then because I lied on him and he never wanted to talk to me again so we drifted apart.

my dad was a teacher and when i was 11, home for spring break, i decided i wanted to make homemade donuts while my dad graded papers in the dining room directly off of the kitchen. he had my little brother in there with him, he was about 1 at the time.

i made the dough, i got the oil in a pan nice and hot and then turned my back for long enough for a fire to start. i thought i could handle it on my own, and carried the flaming pot to the sink and turned on the faucet. i can only imagine what it was like for my dad, sitting there calmly when a fireball bursts through the door. all i remember is his hands grabbing me and tossing me outside, then chucking the baby out, followed by the dogs.

He put the flames out, looked at my hand (miraculously not badly burned at all) bandaged it up, drove to home depot, and had the kitchen repainted before my mom got home from work at 6:00.