#22. Crochet Skirt Guard For Vintage Bicycles
During this past decade, vintage bicycles have become a thing, especially among hipsters (obviously). But while last decade’s trend seemed to be dog clothing, hipsters have taken things one step further and have gone on to buy clothing for bikes.
So, say hi to this crochet skirt guard for vintage bicycles. Are the people who buy this aware that bikes are meant to get dirty and muddy? What’s the point of covering the upper half of the wheel with a beautifully woven “crochet guard” that comes in different shades of soft pink?
#21. Kale Candles
If you have any hipster friends (or if you’re a hipster yourself), then I’m sure you’re aware of the whole kale trend. Don’t get me wrong, kale is one of the most nutritious vegetables out there and I love them, but not everything has to be made out of kale.
Well, the ones who made these kale-scented candles probably don’t agree. One I just don’t get is why anyone would ever choose to have their living rooms smelling like kale… mainly because kale is just like lettuce, it barely has any smell.
#20. School Dinner-Themed Restaurants
During the last couple of decades, delis have become the maximum expression of avant-garde dining. Delis are upscale restaurants that specialize in a fine selection of unusual and foreign foods, and the dishes they serve are more about the quality than the quantity. However, these ridiculous school dinner-themed restaurant meals are neither about quantity nor quality.
It appears to be that London is home to a couple of school-themed restaurants that serve these ridiculously small portions of food on a tray. But even though that 2-inch slice of kiwi and 2-ounce hamburger can’t even satisfy a toddler, they cost £56.
#19. Whisker Dams
I’m not gonna lie, it really is annoying when someone serves you a glass of beer with a 5-inch layer of foam. But was it really necessary to bring this gadget to the market? And most importantly, did they have to name it whisker dam?
Obviously, I can’t think of a more hipster name for an object that helps keep the foam off your lips. Besides, getting foam on your mustache is part of the beer-drinking experience, it’s not the end of the world!
#18. Giant Loaves Of Bread
We all love that freshly-baked crispy bread, especially when it’s served with some pasta. But since regular-sized bread has apparently grown out of fashion, hipsters have come up with these giant one-meter loaves of bread.
This image poses a question: why? I mean, why can’t they cut it up in smaller pieces before serving it? Besides, does anyone eat so much bread on their own? Cause let me tell you one thing, wasting food is not something that an eco-friendly hipster should do.
#17. Slippy Mason Jar
If you’re a born-and-raised hipster, you can’t make your baby drink from a regular plastic bottle. Using glass jars as cups has become a trend in many bars, and I’m fine with that, but there’s no way I can come to terms with these slippy mason jars.
Out of all the bizarre items on this list, this is by far the most dangerous one. Why would you ever give a glassed object to your little one? Or do hipster babies not cry and throw things to the floor like all the rest?
#16. Spaghetti Donuts
In case you haven’t noticed (although I’m sure you have), hipsters are all about absurd food creations. But if you’re still swearing about the whole charcoal croissant deal, then I’ve got some terrible news: spaghetti donuts are here.
Why would anyone ruin two of the best independently greatest foods out there? I don’t wanna get all conservative, but that’s not how you’re meant to eat pasta! Haven’t hipsters watched Lady and the Tramp, for crying out loud?
#15. LEGO Bowl Of Bread
While this is not as bad as the 1-meter bread loaves, it’s still pretty ridiculous. Since eating bread out of woven baskets is too 20th-century, hipsters have come up with these LEGO bowls of bread. Yay or nay?
Give me a normal bread basket, not a 7-year-old’s toy, for crying out loud! Can you think of a hipstier way of serving food? Well, let me tell you one thing, you’re in for a big surprise when you reach #7!
#14. DIY Spaghetti Bolognese
I don’t know about you, but I feel that the whole “do it yourself” food trend is senseless. I mean, if I wanted to make my own dinner, I would just stay at home. These people don’t seem to get the whole point of going to a restaurant!
Besides, one would think that DIY dishes are cheaper, but no!!! This DIY spaghetti bolognese is worth 30 euros. Oh, and the fact that each ingredient is served on a mason gar only dials up the hipster.
#13. Finely Weighed Burgers
Have you ever gone to a restaurant and noticed that it said ‘4-ounce burger’ on the menu? I’m not exactly sure when specifying the weight of burgers became a thing, but what I do know is that nobody actually cares about their weight. I mean, whether it weighs 2 ounces or 20, everybody knows they’re not healthy.
Well, for some reason, the owners of this restaurant thought it would be a good idea to offer finely weighed burgers, which are literally served on a scale. Hipster alert!
#12. Hipster Toilets
Apparently, peeing is also meant to be a unique experience, and that’s why these hipsters have created what seems to be an 18th-century urinal. As you can see below, the picture was taken in Great Britan, in the Otley folk festival.
These urinals are unnecessary as they are impractical: did you notice how tall they are? You need to be standing on your tiptoes to use them properly! Keep on scrolling, the worst is yet to come!
#11. Mason Shot Glasses
The popular company Urban Outfitters has always been sort of like Heaven for hipsters, as it always releases cool, weird, and unusual products. Here we have one of the company’s latest hipster inventions: mason shot glasses.
I can come to terms with the mason jars that people now use as cups, but now this?!What ever happened to the normal shot glasses? I hope you’ve still got some patience left, cause here comes our top 10!
#10. Yoga Rave
As far as I know, yoga is supposed to be relaxing, sort of like meditation. Therefore, the whole concept of yoga rave seems to be messed up. But the worst part is yet to come.
Can you guess where this yoga rave is taking place? In a church! Since when are music festivals and/or yoga lessons held in churches? But if you thought you’ve seen it all already, get ready for the rest of our top 10!
#9. Pet Peacocks
If you thought you’d already seen it all, then you’ve clearly underestimated this list. Believe it or not, this person (which could easily be a hipster based on his fashion) is taking his pet peacock for a walk… and with a dog leash!
Clearly, this guy has taken his need for uniqueness to ridiculous levels. FYI, wild peacocks shouldn’t be walked on a leash, just as no other undomesticated animal should. In fact, I think I prefer kale candles and spaghetti donuts.
#8. Sundial Watches
As you’ve probably learned from your high school history books, hundreds of years ago people used sundials to tell time. I’m pretty sure you don’t even know how they look like, but as I’ve said repeatedly, hipsters love bringing back old trends, even when it comes to objects that haven’t been used since the Middle Ages.
So, since digital watches aren’t cool enough, here are the newest sundial watches! I assure you, wear one of these and you’ll be the coolest hipster out there. Do the people who wear this even know where they have to stand in order for it to work? I have my doubts.
#7. Food Served On Dustpans
If LEGO baskets of bread got on your nerves, then I suggest you skip this one. Since glassed jars as cups weren’t enough, hipsters are trying to set this “serving food on a dustpan” trend.
Why can’t dustpans keep on being dustpans, one may wonder? The worst part is that this picture was taken in an actual restaurant. If you run out of plates, just use a napkin… never a dustpan!
#6. Prosecco & Elderberry Chips
If you’ve got anger management issues, then I dare you to make it through our top 6, beginning with these prosecco and elderberry chips. Regular Lays or not good enough, so why not add a bit of high-quality white Italian wine and some delicate elderberry fragrance?
Come on, folks, this sounds like something the queen would eat! Do you know what the worst part is? They probably taste great, but since I don’t wanna feel like a traitor, I’ll swear myself never to try them!
#5. Skateboards Made From A Single Piece Of Wood
I’m pretty sure this is just a DIY skateboard rather than one sold in shops. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if a teenage hipster brand were to begin selling these rustic skateboards made from a single piece of wood.
I know what you’re thinking: what’s wrong with the good ol’ school skateboards? Well, the answer is… nothing!!! Also, why is that skateboard so narrow and long? You’ve gotta be super skinny not to break it. Totally useless.
#4. Chicken Lemon Kale Sausage
Personally, sausages are not my cup of tea, at least the regular ones made out of pork. Therefore, I don’t judge those who go for sausages made out of chicken, soya, or things of the sort. In fact, I wouldn’t say no to a chicken sausage with some kale salad, and perhaps even an ice-cold minty lemonade. But why would anyone ever blend those three ingredients together?
For some reason, these guys thought it would be wise to put these chicken lemon kale sausages for sale. Please, this “let’s reinvent food” trend is getting out of our hands. Let’s go back to the time when donuts weren’t made out of spaghetti and sausages weren’t made out of thyme and “lemon herb spice blends” (which is probably just a hipster euphemism for lemon).
#3. Charcoal Activated Vegan Croissants
Come on, people! Croissants are fine they way they are, what’s the need to activate them with charcoal? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t frown upon vegan croissants per se, but these charcoal activated vegan croissants sold in this London shop is just too much.
The best thing about croissants is how buttery they are, so give me one good reason why to buy one of these? They look as dry as the Sahara desert and as crunchy as… well, charcoal.
#2. Avo-Coffee
I know, this list keeps getting better and better. The latest hipster trend in the coffee universe has been latte art, which consists of pouring microfoam into an expresso shot resulting in different patterns, designs, or shapes. Some found this exciting while others found it useless, but the latest hipster coffee trend is inarguably useless.
Hipsters have come up with avo-coffee, which means having your coffee poured into a hollowed-out avocado. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a total avocado fan… but isn’t aren’t avo-coffees the least practical thing in the world? How can you avoid spoiling your coffee?
#1. Typewriter Extension For Tablets
As I’ve said, hipsters love to blend modern and modern trends… as you can see by this typewriter extension for tablets. Normal keyboards are too mainstream. I mean, everybody has one.
So if by any chance you’ve got $750 to spare, you can buy this vintage typewriter extension, which is just as overpriced as any hipster product you’ll ever find. Good luck fitting it in your bag.