There are few moments as bad as when you check that balance at the bank and it’s low. Lower than you expected and lower than you need it to be. Finding out your suffering account is even worse when it’s in public, at the bank or in line at the ATM.
Guess what? Your relationship has an account and every second of your life together, you and your partner are either making deposits or making withdrawals. And just like a money bank, you don’t want bigger withdrawals than you have deposits. Yes, there is a relationship economy.
So, what’s in this account and how are you making deposits & withdrawals? First, in this account is basically the feelings, moments and energy of your relationship. Together, these things form the foundation of your life together. Secondly, how are you making deposits or withdrawals? You and your partner make deposits by doing the things that reaffirm your position in each other’s life (spending quality time together, supporting one another, listening to each other, etc). You make withdrawals through negative interactions with each other (arguing, taking for granted, being inconsiderate and so on.)
Relationships don’t neccessarily have a breaking point. Like bank accounts, they have numerous withdrawals until that final reach for money (or in this case relationship expectaction) and there is nothing left to take. Too many withdrawals and we have nothing in our foundation to call upon. Our spouse has hurt feelings, emotions are lost, lives have separated and happiness is foreclosed.
Ask yourself, am I making a deposit or am I making a withdrawal? While politicians take care of our financial economy, you take care of your relationship’s.