I have written a number of spirituality articles in other site and I am amazed by the number of people coming to me referring to me their problems. Every problem you can think of – from the mundane to the highly philosophical. I want to share here how I solve my problems so people need not be overwhelmed by difficulties:
1. Know the problem. This is the most basic. Define the problem. State it in the most honest way possible. Are you worried over the economy? Are you unhappy with your job? Is someone making you unhappy?
State your problem then say it as it is. Some people’s problems are actually self-denial. They know what is the problem but they won’t admit it. They say they are ok when deep down they know they aren’t. In your mind, just determine what exactly is your problem. This is a very important step, one that you cannot forego, because you cannot proceed to the next if you do not know what problem you are solving to begin with.
Another important tip here is to write down your problem. Once you see it on a piece of paper, you seem more focused on it. It will also give you clarity.
2. Understand your problem. Having defined it, it is important to know the why’s, how’s, what’s of the problem. Why does it bother you so? If you are beset by a lot of problems, then choose one that seems to weigh you down the most. Is it your job? No money? Health problems?
3. List down your solutions. Once you’ve chosen the first problem you will tackle, then you need to list down the ways you can solve it. What are your options? Let’s say you hate your job. So, you have three options here – stay and learn to love it, leave immediately, look for another while still at it.
4. Weigh your options. Examine your proposed solutions. So if you hate your job – your first option is to stay. Find some positive aspects in your job and start from there until you feel happy doing it.
Leave immediately – if you have money, you could leave your job immediately. This will not be advisable especially now that economy is in recession.
Look for another while still doing your job – if you could not really find anything positive about your job then start job hunting for another while you are still working. But you need to analyze first what kind of job will actually make you happy. It is not good to hop from one job to another then realize later that you are worst off than before.
5. Make a decision. This is the most critical point because your future actions hinge on your decision. So do not take this part lightly. Weigh your options well. Then weigh them again and again. Then decide which way to go. There is nothing worse than making a wrong decision than being indecisive. If you made the wrong decision, you can at least change some of it. But if you remain indecisive, then you remain exactly where you are – not knowing what to do or where to go. Always in a crossroad.
It is ok to postpone making a decision though. Since it is important for you to think things thoroughly, buying some time to decide would not be a bad idea. But if you postpone the decision-making process indefinitely, you will be going in circles- repeating the vicious cycle over and over again until you decide to get out of there.
An important thing to point out here is to decide based on what is right. If your decision is not based on the right thing, you might need to undo it later on and undoing mistakes can be very lenghty and difficult. An extreme example of deciding right is if you decide to divorce your wife and found out later that you really love her and not the other woman. You cannot undo this mistake. If you can, it would probably take you a lifetime to pursue your wife. So be really sure that your decision is the right thing to do because it if is not right then it is not worth doing.
Another thing is make sure you won’t regret what you have decided in the end. Regret can be a very pitiful thing. So make sure you won’t regret anything.
6. Implementation. Once you have made a decision, it is time to implement it. This is another critical phase because once you lose sight of your solution, you might go back to your old habits and incur the same problem. FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION. Don’t be weigh down by the problem. If you focus on your problems, you will only feel worse and negative. The solution is your way out, so keep your mind fixed on it.You cannot afford unnecessary distractions during this time. Overcome the problem little by little. Do not expect to solve it in a day.
7. Visualization. In order to keep your interest going and your mind fixed on the solution, implement some visualization techniques. Visualize what will happen and how it would feel like once you’ve solved or overcome the problem. If your solution is to resign from your job and look for another, visualize doing another job and your having so much fun, you’re very happy in it. Your feelings is the touchstone of the subconscious which will make your wish come to pass.
8. Realize. The end of the problem would be once you realized the solution. Did you find a new job? Are you happy now? With new opportunities come new challenges. Some of your solutions might lead you to new problems. Then you just have to do the steps all over again. Others, will make you feel contented. So…on to your next problem.
Life is a never-ending problem-solving process. The beauty of it all is you learn while doing so. Never back out from challenges. With these steps you will be equipped to handle and overcome anything that comes your way!