I don’t know about the rest of you, but my first “I hate you” that came from my then three year old daughter pierced my emotions fast. As a Mother who wants only the best for my child, I was really hurt that my dear daughter uttered the word “hate” and flung it at me. It all started as we sat on the dinner table waiting for my daughter to finish her vegetables. She’s not a picky eater but refuses to eat mushrooms for some reason. So as I was letting her know that she was no longer allowed to eat just what she likes, she didn’t scream, but mumbled the words “I hate you”. I assure you, that was worse than a slap across the face for me.
Growing up, my Mother showed me that to raise a happy child, you must be positive at all situations. Whether it is you’re disciplining, consoling, explaining, living, working… anything, you must handle it with nothing but positivity. Then I started thinking of how my Mother could’ve felt if I had ever said that. I’m not sure I have but I really can’t recall! As I was thinking, I reminded myself that my daughter is just angry and like the child that she is, she has yet to learn how to control such an emotion much less express it in a more appropriate manner. So, being the Mother that I am, I firmly told her once again that she must finish everything on her plate and while explaining how the food that she eats affects her body, I explained how what she said affected my feelings. Then I explained to her that I have nothing but love for her and that everything I do is for the best of her. You also might want to let your child know that if you “hated” her, you wouldn’t care so much and that if she “hated” you, she doesn’t care about you!
I handled my first “I hate you” with understanding and love because that’s all you can do when raising a child; understand and love. Those two come handy even in difficult situations but you must also remember to be patient. A child is born without knowledge of this world and expects you to be there with answers. There may come a time when a child says or does something a lot more heart breaking but right now is the time for you to work with becoming more understanding, loving, and patient to prepare for something that might be more difficult to handle years from now. Like all parents, I view my child as an angel and expect the best from her at all times. Because of that, I tend to get shocked at the merest mistakes that my child makes. All I can do at that moment is to be a parent and let my child be a child with my guidance.