It seems that a lot of my loved ones have been doing a lot of grieving lately . If I can offer any help I would think that would be to share some I knowledge that we often forget when we are experiencing loss of any kind . There show be no judgment on whether or not your loss measures up to or qualifies for what ever level of grief you may be feeling . Keep in mind everyone has there own way of expressing grief . Understand that whether we cry ,scream get mad ,don’t speak or sit in silence makes no difference . So when it seems that someone is not feeling the loss to the level that we maybe feeling it , its important to lend the understanding that we all have our own way to handle pain . Grant yourself permission to feel the emotions let it out . This doesn’t mean we have permission to wound others by not thinking before we act but in a healthy manor let it out .
If you could imagine two people and both people have there own trash. it is there own responsibility to work on there issues from there daily life to handle and remove . So if we take care of our own trash without expecting someone else to handle it for you we create a new way of being. When we put or attention and we all focus on our own issues we don’t have time to judge others and control them . This allows us freedom to do and be what we were intended to do and be .
Through this we can learn how to heal our mind and hearts by correcting our thinking . When we become allowing of ourselves to feel what we feel and purge ourselves of our own emotional poison . This way of being forces us to address all the issues that we do not want to see and think of . We must see the truth about ourselves and offer ourselves the understanding that we are human in order to allow ourselves the right to fail and succeed . If we do not allow ourselves to have the potential to fail we have not given ourselves the chance to succeed either .
I speak of these things because we tend to be very judgmental with ourselves and others . This also applies to the grieving process because we automatically begin experiencing guilt . This guilt comes from the side of us that is the judge . This judge watches and waits for us to make any mistake and like a tape player reminds us over and over of all our could a ,should a ,would a’s . Then we have the victim side of us and this side is the side that agrees with the judge and allows us to be punished repeatedly .
When we live life in fear of loving and expressing life threw us we allow the judge to step in and the victim to agree and punish us with regrets . If we begin to live life fully we don’t give the judge much chance to step into our lives because we don’t care what the judge has to say we love life and we live it fully .