How To Survive a Zombie Attack

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To survive a zombie attack, you will first need to somehow obtain a great number of zombies. I plan on waiting for this to happen. A zombie attack is inevitable. It is impossible to think that Zombies will never be created. I’m hoping it’s in the next 30 years, where I am still in the prime of my life and have a decent chance of killing a load of zombies and saving man kind. I would greatly recommend bookmarking this page, as when the zombies are introduced, you will have quick cheat guide on how to survive.

We must be prepared for both types of zombies. The “Night of the Living Dead” zombies, i.e. the slow zombies. And, in my opinion, the much more dangerous, “28 Days Later” style zombie, i.e. the fast agressive zombies. The slower zombies would certainly pose less of a threat, but would not be as much of a challenge as trying to wipe out the aggressive ones. The choice is up to you.

For this article we will assume we are locked down in a supermarket. Possibly the best place to be when you find yourself in the middle of a zombie attack. This is how it will go. I will try to paint the picture in your mind, from the view of a supermarket employee. We are working away quietly, customers are shopping, just a normal day. All of a sudden we hear a scream. We look outside to find millions of zombies standing outside, some of them are devouring a small child. We must act quickly. The doors are probably made of glass, and open when they detect motion. One of us must quickly run and lock the glass doors, before they open automatically. You then yell to all the customers. You tell half of them to quickly gather masking tape, and the others to find objects to use for barricading the front doors and windows. The customers return with the masking tape, and you tell them to begin taping all the glass, in diagonal strips and squares. This may seem useless, but it will prevent the glass from cracking or shattering to some degree. The other customers carrying large items such as wooden boards and shelves arrive. They start pressing them up against the glass.

Once you have secured the front entry, you will have to tell staff to go around and make sure the exits and loading docks are locked down. You suddenly hear something break from the delicatesan. You rush over to find kim has knocked over the scales. He apologies quickly. You and kim can hear the distant banging at the front of the store. It is now time to start gathering and constructing weapons. Tell customers to go and get their weapon of choice. I would personally probably run to the cleaning aisle, grab cloth, mineral turpentine, paint thinner, deodorant cans, maybe some mops. While this is happening, ask the boss if you can get the building plan for the supermarket. With the building plan you can learn the way to on top of the store, or to other vantage points where you can try to escape or kill zombies.

You now have several options, if you plan on staying and fighting the zombies. You could try assembling a posse of around 10 people. Give three people the mops. Dip them in turps/paint thinner/kerosene and when outside the store, set them on fire. These three people will act as retardants to keep the zombies away from the other seven attackers. Give another three people hitting devices, such as baseball bats or poles, these people will be used for close combat situtations. Make one person the ‘legolas’ of the group. That is, the archer, but since you are unlikely to find a bow and arrow, use perhaps glass bottles, bricks or hammers. The last three people will finish the zombies off, they will each have their own specialised weopon that they feel comfortable with. If your looking for some ideas, you could have a screwdriver or large knife. Another good idea, is to take a water bottle sprayer out there. You can make your own mix of things to disable the zombies. Perhaps chillis, capsicum and wasabi, mixed with lighter fluid. The chillis and wasabi will blind them, while the lighter fluid will light on fire if you throw an open flame on them. Your options are endless. Also, make sure each member of you posse has their own can of deodorant and lighter. This is a backup in case they lose their primary weapon during the fight.

Before you exit for the fight however, make sure you make use of the building plans. If you can somehow get to the roof, use your pieces of cloth, and your bottles of turps/metho/kero to make molotov cocktails. You should be able to knock off a fair few zombies just by setting them on fire. Also, if you can somehow fashion a pump hose, and attach one of your chosen chemicals. You could do some major damage.

So this should give you enough to get started. Just remember to be safe and have fun with it. Make sure you tell people about this article, you do not want amatuers dragging you down when under attack from zombies. I would also recommend you printing this guide out, and carrying it around in your wallet. Just in case.

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