How to watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop

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Many people have been talking about Paul Blart recently, mainly about how hard it is to watch. Also about how poor it is. So, that said, I would recommend anyone thinking of watching it to read this guide first. Now, I have seen this movie, and yes it is poor, but i had not read the guide first. So here we go.

Firstly, i would recommend seeing this movie with a bunch of friends, therefore instead of trying to enjoy its quality, you can all laugh and make jokes at its expense. You do not want to see this movie on your own. That is rule number one. More rules will follow.

Secondly, bring in as much food, drink and even entertainment as possible. That is a pretty obvious one. Distraction is necessary. You must not think of this as a movie, so do not do any of the things you would normally do when viewing. i.e. do not turn your mobile phone off, get comfortable or try to concentrate on what is happening. Which brings me to rule number two. If you decide to watch this movie on DVD at your house, which you shouldnt, do not watch it with subtitles. This is possibly more important than rule number one. This movie with subtitles, will ruin all the well-crafted jokes, kidding. You will read them before hearing them.

Thirdly, you must not have an open-mind going into this movie. Try to keep your mind as closed as possible, almost as if you have already seen it and knew it was bad. This is important as you can plan ahead. You already know you are not going to like it, therefore you have several options. For example, after purchassing your ticket, you can simply leave, or enter a different cinema. The option is yours.

The last option is to simply watch Observe and Report. A similar movie with greater satisfaction. Or you could take the sign that I wasted time writing this guide as a sign that it is a bad movie, and simply not see it.

I may have been harsh on Paul Blart, but this is a movie that offers no reward. If you decide to see it and you feel yourself getting angry, simply leave.


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