Loving your Lady

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How to Love Your Lady

 Do you wonder where the spark went in your relationship? Do you wonder if she is right for you. And if not, what should you do?


Step 1

Determine if your companionship was a quick fix or if you were truly interested in a meaningful relationship. Quick fixes tend to fade quickly, as deep down not many men or women truly want that as a constant in their life. 

Step 2

If you entered your relationship with earnest intent to have a long lasting, loving relationshipmag-glass_10x10.gif, then good for you. You’re in luck, although you will have to do a bit of soul searching.

Step 3

Remember the times just before you met your significant other. Maybe you were down and out, maybe you thought you were at the top of your game, the top of the world. But there was something about her that caught your attention and would not let you go. Do you remember what it was?

Step 4

They say hair attracts men the most at first. It’s one of the most dominant traits a man sees at first glance. You know what? Your lady has glorious hair. Look at it. See how it circles her face. Every now and then, go ahead and run your fingers through it. Feel how soft it is. Feel how cool it is after she dries from a shower. For a short time, don’t consider your lady, just think of her hair. That glorious, fantastic hair.

Step 5

Find something she does that is cute. maybe it’s the way she walks, maybe the way she pronounces a certain letter, or maybe the way she tips her head when she reads. Find something you do enjoy, something that makes you smile, that most people don’t tend to notice. Maybe when she walks, she holds the cuffs of her jacket in her fingers. Mine does that. I love it. Always have. No real reason why, I just do. You may think there is nothing, but there is. You saw it before, find it again. If you haven’t noticed anything lately, it’s because you’ve stopped looking, not because it’s not there.

Step 6

Pretend you don’t know here for a few minutes, and ask her how her day went. Don’t settle for a simple, quick answer like “Fine.” Ask her, and try to, gently, get her to actually talk to you about herself. Trust me on this if you can, I promise you she’s fascinating.

Step 7

Listen to her laugh. Focus all your attention on her laugh. The sound, the way her body moves, her smile. How her eyes light up. I am not talking about a sarcastic laugh either, but an honest to goodness hearty laugh because something came out of the blue and she couldn’t help it. Listen to her laugh when it comes unexpected and she loses control and can’t stop. Think of nothing else but that wonderful laugh. Don’t even think of who it’s coming from, just focus on that laugh.

Step 8

Your lady is wonderful, and she is perfect. You knew it before, but maybe you’ve forgotten. But that’s your lacking, not hers. You have yourself bound up inside, but if you make the effort again, you can open yourself to her and let her in, and she will touch your heart in a way that can change your life. You know this is true, you just closed yourself off to it for whatever reason. Take the plunge, it’s worth it. More than worth it.

Step 9

Think about what it means to be a friend. A true friend, not just someone who hangs out with someone else. Go out of your way to be that friend for her. In doing so, you will find a friend you cannot replace.

Step 10

Touch things. The wall, the carpet, the tree in your front yard, you car, the dirt, a plate, your keyboard. Heck, touch some spaghetti or a cheeseburger. Pay attention to how they feel under your fingertips. Now touch her. Just a gentle touch, maybe her hand, her arm. Just graze her skin with your fingertips. Notice how bland everything else in this world feels compared to her. How cold, how disturbingly cold and hollow and empty. She doesn’t feel that way, does she?

Step 11

Imagine an empty house. Deathly quiet. So quiet you swear you can hear the dust settle on the floor. So quiet you can feel the walls around you without looking at them. That quiet that comes all too often accompanied by a small lump in the throat you just refuse to let out. Nothing tastes good, nothing sounds good. Nothing is worth anything. Now imagine living your life like that. You know, deep down, that’s what life would be like without her. Don’t take her for granted, it would be a horrific way to waste that precious thing that you call your life. Because let’s face it, without her in it, your life is empty and a waste.

Step 12

When that lump in your throat is replaced with another that is caused by the fact you cannot hold her close enough, that you cannot make her laugh constantly, and that you cannot feel her hair in your fingers all the time, then tell her how you feel.


* Never, no matter what, NEVER take her for granted.

* You are a great person. You really are. But you know better than anyone how empty your life is without her in it, even when you’re smiling and laughing.

* Just don’t waste your life spending it without her.


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