College Confessions

I’m attending Texas Southern University and I want to do good and go to class and pass but the way I acted in High School is coming back to me I skipped all the time and the only reason why I passed was because of my vice principle she caught me and gave me another chance to go to class.

But college is different because nobody is going to pull me and give me another chance and I really need this I don’t wanna let my mother down she spend so much money and fought so hard for me to be able to be here and I’m just throwing it away and when she finds out she’s going to brake, part of me wants to start going back to all my classes instead of some but it’s too late for all of that,next semester I will be different because I don’t like this feeling everyone at home in San Antonio is so proud of me for nothing I’m not doing anything but sitting at home and day dreaming about the way that I want my life and my families life to be and how I want to change the way we are living and the location but day dreaming ain’t getting me no where and I can’t tell my mother that I’m doing wrong because this is the first time that I felt she was truly proud of me ,it would brake my heart to see hers broken I don’t wanna see her cry because I’ve seen her do that before, my brother already disappointed her because he didn’t go to college and he’s not taking care of his kids like a man should and I don’t want to hurt her again,she sees her sisters kids are doing good one of her sons is a manager and the other a pro football player and her oldest daughter graduated from College, she’s married with a daughter of her own and I know she wants that and I want to give her that but I’m to bussy doing her wrong. I know I am I guess I’m just to spoiled and selfish to make myself stop, she already thinks that I don’t love her but I do but how can I when I don’t even love myself if I was up to me I would be nomore I tried to erase myself from the world so many times but GOD just won’t let me I guess I have a purpose here on earth but I wish GOD would give me a sign. 

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