This is the beginning of a new world

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When I was little I watched someone die it was the worst thing I have ever seen this is part of why im doing this because sometimes people go through stuff and see stuff that they shouldnt have my family is thevreason i saw it the person was my grandmother i was only nine at the time my cousin took me in the room i have never forgiven her for it because i was so young i should never been put in that room now at nineteen im still somewhat messed up because now i havevall this family that i have no idea who they are the.      

other part is a few months ago I lost a former scout to suicide. I didn’;;t;t know anything was wrong  I didnt know he was hurting I have spent so much time thinking what if I talked to him what if I helped him and why didn’;;t I see something was wrong logically I know he had a good mask but still I watched him grow up to this funny young adult who got along with everyone, when I found out what happened I was completely heartbroken i also came to realise that help isn;t accessible not for teenagers it’;;;;;;s so hard you have to know exactly what your looking for and  even adults don’;;;;;;t really know and you have to ask the right question and isn,t that expecting a bit much considering its suicide it’;;;;;;s hard to cope with let alone to know what to ask and in today’;;;;;;s society it’;;;;;;s hard to admit something’;;;;;;s wrong so why should we expect them to do something so hard and by themselves so I wanna make a change in people’;;;;s lives because the thought that the world was that bad a teenage commited suicide I don’;;;;t want to live in a world like this and I sure as hell don’;;;t want my children to grow up in a world where it is normal to fell alone life should be like this it shouldn’;;;;t be this hard so this is a huge reason I’;;;m doing this blog a world where it’;;;s ok to be yourself and its ok to do what you want and if I can reach out to someone even if its only one person  changing their world would be amazing 

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