Friday, December 15

Love – the erroneous zone (the darkness within)

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It was 7.40 pm, and I along with my friend Rajesh was sitting in the waiting room, waiting eagerly for the train which was almost late by 6 hours. It is really difficult to kill time waiting for the train. Time seems to have come to a standstill in such situations. I can notice even the slightest tick of the minute hand. As it is said, whenever we have leisure time, our mind starts wandering around those memories of our lives which we have lived the most. So was the case with me. Actually our mind is like a pack of wild horses pulling it in different directions and whenever we try to tame one, the others go wild and finally the most powerful horse starts taking control of our mind and our thought process starts acting that way. So as I soon as I sat there and closed my eyes ,my mind again started wandering around the time when we had a breakup. The more I tried to forget that day when I lost my love and myself , the more the memories of that day used to haunt me . Tears were struggling hard to come out of my eyes and I was pulling myself together to help my deeply wounded soul to stand against that gamut of painful emotions. Before we parted, even if God had descended on earth and would have told me that one day she won’;t be there in your life, I would have challenged God that that could never happen. But now the bitter fact was that she was gone, gone forever. She was drowned far away with time and I was there only coping with my utter failure in relation with her. She had not gone alone her magnetic aura had dragging my liveliness and happiness with her.To the world, she may be one person, but for me she was my whole world. No one can imagine the pain and agony of the internally wounded soul which is so shattered that even time can’;t heal it and fear of making close relations and then losing someone, someone very special and close to your heart, whom you have valued even more than your life, even time can’;t wipe such fear out of you. So, waiting in the waiting room for the train, I was trying every bit to find an answer to the only relevant question left in my life where did I go wrong? and everything starts flashing like a movie in front of my eyes.

I was in HCL those days and the day I think was 23rd of December, 2008, when I got a call in the morning hours at around 6:30 am. I was working in night shifts in office that time. So after waking up for whole night I was dying to sleep so as to prepare myself for next night when my mobile started beeping at its maximum. With half opened eyes somehow I managed to see the screen of my mobile. It was displaying some unknown number . I received the call thinking it might be from some consultancy for some daytime job as I had applied for the same on many job portals, else I would have rejected it. But when I accepted the call, a voice, very sweet and somewhat familiar, entered my ears, asking me if I remembered her.


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