Is Stalking The New Way of Wooing a Girl? No. It Really Isn't.

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I worked in a bar for 6 years, and my Boss kindly said to me one day that never in his life had he ever met anyone who attracted so many weirdo’s and mental men as me. I knew he was right, I have this amazing ability to attract them from miles away, it’s like I have a neon glowing sign above my head saying “If you’re mad – come to me”!!!! (I apologise to any ex-boyfriends who may read this, please don’t take it personally, I may not actually mean YOU in particular. But then again…….)

I met a guy in the bar I worked in through a mutual friend. I’ll say he was foreign (because he was). He was Bulgarian and hadn’t long been in the country. He decided to spend his evenings in the bar watching my every movement and staring at me. Naturally I found this extremely unnerving. Once introduced he actually seemed okay and quite sweet (WARNING WARNING), and every weekend he would walk me home after my shift and we would talk as best as we could – he in his stilting English, me with my 100 mph speaking. I deliberately rethought my phrases in the hope he would understand at least 10% of what I said. So this went on for some time, and his English got better, and he asked me out for a drink, so off we went. He talked about marriage and babies, and I headed for the door.

He soon turned into a raving lunatic. He asked me to be his girlfriend to which I politely refused. He then decided to call me on my phone about 20 times a day. I’m not a fan of talking on the phone at the best of times, let alone with someone who’s English left a lot to be desired – so I ignored the calls. So he text me, over and over and over and over. He started up his watching me at the bar every night. He got so creepy I told my Boss I refused to serve him, so my Boss did instead.

One night I was walking home from an evening out with friends, and I heard someone behind me. It was late and it was dark. I sped up. They sped up. I sped up again, so did they. Fired up I spun round ready to scream the place down at whoever was following me, and it was him. I yelled what the hell was he doing to which he replied he was walking me home. I stated that was not called walking – that was called STALKING. Following 50 metres behind a woman is not funny! He followed me home and as it was getting near Christmas he asked what I would like as a present. I could have fleeced him at this point, but believe it or not I’m not that callous, so I told him not to waste his money on me as I was never going to be his girlfriend, he should wait for a girl who reciprocated his feelings. He angrily told me not to be so stupid, so I slammed the front door in his face. He then woke my neighbours up by calling through the letterbox that he loved me. Next day I had a card posted through my door – “To the one I love”. Oh dear. Not good.

After constantly calling me at 1am one night begging me to meet him and I kept saying no I was in bed (which I was), I told him I would call the Police if he didn’t stop as it was harassment. I switched my phone off and got dozens of messages when I switched it back on.

One night I was in the bar dancing with some male friends when he came storming over, slammed his glass down and growled at me to have a good night. I asked what his problem was and he literally spat at me “You KNOW what my problem is”. Oh yes, that will be jealousy. He followed me round the bar and started having a go at any guy I spoke to. Seriously, this was going too far now.

He had decided that he was in love with me. He told me he had never been in love before and Bulgarian girls had nothing compared to me (not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or not to be honest). I told him he wasn’t in love with me; he was mistaking lust for love. I told him he couldn’t possibly be in love with someone he barely knows! He got quite aggressive and kept shouting he was in love with me, and how DARE I tell him he didn’t love me when he did. I knew nothing! Good Lord, this was not the way to try and woo me. I like assertive men but not raving psychopaths! He called me constantly on Boxing Day telling me he desperately needed to see me as he couldn’t control his love. My sister’s boyfriend seeing my distress snatched my phone and told him to bu**er off!

I started seeing someone and he was going to meet me partway through my shift at work to take me home. Psycho stalker was there. Joy. I was working on the upstairs bar and leaning over the balcony looking at the queue of people waiting to come up. Suddenly I felt someone kissing my neck. I spun round to find psycho there and I flipped at him asking what on earth he was doing???? I told him my boyfriend was coming in to meet me any second and he told me he didn’t believe I was seeing anyone. I argued with him that I damn well did have a boyfriend. No you don’t he said. Err, excuse me, but yes I do. No you don’t. Yes I do. At that moment in perfect timing my boyfriend came bounding up the stairs, swept me into his arms and kissed me. Psycho’s jaw dropped with a huge clang and he skulked away into the crowd.

He moved away soon after. No doubt stalking and harassing someone else. My boss thought it was funny. I’m glad he was amused. I was FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So message to you guys out there, go ahead and be charming and woo a girl, but for God’s sake, draw the line at stalking. You will end up with a restraining order. Or a smack in the mouth.

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