On the morning of calling a friend, sobbing into the phone: “I came to work with a ten-minute delay, so the chief yelled at me for all the department. And I, by the way, 35! What am I, a girl in the beck and call? He does not speak properly – only in a raised voice. And a colleague of me dismisses rumors, I have to catch a sidelong glances. “
A severe case … And really, what if someone from your environment is constantly Hamit, arguing the case and did not provoke a scandal?
There are people-shouters: how not to him – raise his voice. What to do with them? Above all, do not cry in response to or attempt to rein in – it is useless. To start quietly without interrupting (yes, seriously, but we must try to control myself) listen and find out what it is dissatisfied with the aggressor. At the same time look into his eyes, rowdies – people with self-important, so it pays to show that you – not born yesterday. Suppress it, as it should be in the animal world, a direct gaze. When he uttered calmly say, “You finished? And now listen to me “- and to present its case.
Remember that the rowdies feel aggression and willingness to respond in kind. And it means – to be war. So do not criticize, even if the explicit heard nonsense, but covertly indicate a problem.
For example, your colleague, slipshod work on the project, comments on the snaps and tries to find out who you are is more important. Do not be interested in a sarcastic: “You have to pay that money? It got to pull? “It is better to say a neutral tone:” Do you think we have time to finish the project on time, if we work in the same slow pace? The decision in fact has yet been found, we need new options. “
If your opponent (relative, friend) – an avid debater, do not try to place firmly against him to the wall – will start biting! It is better to allow to do so, as he sees fit. When he starts the problem, he asks for help. The main advance of its offer. And then not to blame – “Ah! I told you! “.
Well, if you have to work side by side with a foe, of slander which in its own address you have accurate information, display it on a frank conversation. This is better than every time the experience. Call it “smoke” and just say: “His claim has expressed to me personally. And then later perevrut so I really think that you hate me. “
You can go to a less painful way: find this person at least one positive quality and genuinely (!) Praise him for it. Believe me, even in the most heinous type is a positive stroke. And praise be to disarm. And as often as possible should be praising the enemy “for the eyes.” Then he lunges in your address people might disapprove.
Well, actually when dealing with difficult people must adhere to two rules. The first – is to allow an opponent to say whatever he sees fit, provided that it does what you want. Yelling? Repeat as worn-out record: “At half-tone lower, please!”. If you did not listen – just turn around and leave.