Just about every marriage is going to have ups and down yet not many things are as devastating like realizing that your wife or husband was having an extramarital affair. You cannot bring yourself to accept the fact that this person you loved and vowed to share everything with would turn around and do something so dreadful.
Now comes the part when you have to decide whether to stay married but more importantly start the process of recovering from the affair. It is certainly not going to easy but if you want to guarantee recovery never takes place then simply do the following:
1. Continue Feeding The Pain
You hate your mate’s infidelity and you make the extra effort to keep rehashing it repeatedly. All the negative thoughts that you ought to be working on to minimize are placed on a constant tape loop in your head. Whenever it looks like it will disappear you will make certain to throw some more gas onto it by picking a fight with your spouse or by grabbing hold of a favorite depressing image and then thinking about it until it goes on automatic.
2. Continually Wondering Why?
You sit down and ask yourself this question at every opportunity. Even when the husband or wife lets you know precisely why they did it you still keep asking. It is not so much that you are searching for the answer . It’s more like you cannot bring yourself to accept what happened and begin your healing process.
3. Planning Retribution
Your spouse cheated on you and you are going to make them pay the price for their transgression. And then what happens? You devote the majority of your time trying to figure out ways to make them experience the hurt you are going through only the goal is to make them feel it a thousand times worse. The problem is retribution is not just of waste of time but also an exercise for losers. If you really feel that strongly about what they did then go ahead and file for divorce. And even if you go that route try to avoid the scorched earth policy.
4. Telling Everyone
You become a town crier and announce to anyone within a thirty mile radius that your spouse cheated. This does not happen just on occasion. You cannot help but do it every time you converse with someone. All that does is to keep the affair front and center. Bear in mind not everyone has the need to know what’s going on in your personal life and furthermore you cannot get on with your life if you continue to keep rehashing it every single moment.
5. Keep It Bottled
And then at the opposite end of the spectrum is the fact that you do not tell anyone. No counseling, no support network. In fact you don’t even discuss it with your mate. What’s done is done and you wish it would go away. That is not going to take place until you take genuine actions to make it happen and a significant component of that is communicating with the right people.