How to Understand Angry Feelings

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There are plenty of things to be angry about in the world. If we are out of a job we can be angry that our job was taken away. We can be angry at the person who drives his or her car in front of us without signaling. If someone vents anger on us, we may be tempted to express anger likewise.

One of the first steps in dealing with our feelings of anger is to acknowledge them. Additionally, not only can we acknowledge our anger but it is beneficial for us to learn how to identify all the feelings we feel. Perhaps, keeping a feelings journey may help us with this process of identification. We can stop ourselves during our day and say to ourselves ‘What do I feel right now’. Even if we do not know, notating the date and time and putting down ‘I did not know what I felt’ is an expression of self-honesty.

Do we think we are angry too much? Perhaps, others have told us ‘You know, you seem to be angry all the time’. Maybe some people have not told us politely. If we think we are angry way too much, it may be beneficial to seek the support of a professional counselor or support group to help us identify issues which may causes us to feel intensely angry.

Anger often results from being disappointed. Were there times in our lives that we disappointed? Were we a target of verbal or physical abuse? Writing down what we remember regarding these issues may help us understand reasons for our anger. Once we acknowledge our hurts from these kinds of circumstances, we can feel the grief that comes from having been disappointed or mistreated. Oftentimes, behind continued feelings of anger is hurt. It is important that we feel our hurt so that our anger can dissipate.

Tips and Warnings:

  • Keep a feelings journal
  • Try to do things that are supportive and positive for yourself
  • Do kind things for others
  • Surround yourself with people who are kind, friendly, and supportive
  • Avoid people who do not wish to resolve their angry feelings. Anger can lead to deep resentment which can have negative consequences for oneself and others
  • If you find that you are not able to resolve your anger through your efforts in trying to obtain support through counseling and other activities, consider having a physical. There may be physical reasons why you are prone to anger which may not only involve medical conditions or diet. Consult with a medical professional regarding this effort

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