7 Strangest Patents

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In the 21st century it’s becoming more and more difficult to invent something useful and unique as almost everything seems to have been created before us. As such great minds as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs have already enriched our lives with super devices I doubt that average humans like us will be able to impress the world. But in the strong desire to stand out, we do try to make something significant; the results though may be sometimes funny or even weird.

For instance:

• Brain buzzer

Have you ever fallen asleep at inopportune moments? The moments when you need to keep yourself awake simply bite down on the vibrating wand (the small end please) and vibrations are transmitted to the brain, buzzing you awake without disturbing your neighbors.

• Portable bath capsule

Patent says: “A capsule for administering bed baths and massage comprising an elongated sheath of flexible fluid tight material enclosing the patient except for the head and having means for admitting fluid to and drawing fluid from the capsule.” It sounds even stranger than it looks.

• Walking snake system

As snakes are usually kept in houses, they want to breathe fresh air from time to time. This system will let you walk your snake out of the house and it won’t ever let the predator run away or make any problems to other people.

The patent probably is still searching for its market.

• Life expectancy watch

Patent says: “Life expectancy has been a major concern of people throughout the ages.” In the world with bad economy, crumbling infrastructure, decaying environment and a sky-high divorce rate we have a hope now – a life expectancy watch that will always remind you that all of it is only a matter of time as you die anyway. Many thanks to David Kendrick for perhaps the last gadget one would want to possess.

• Hiccup Treatment

If drinking water or holding your breath aren’t enough to stop your hiccups, this device might be a big help. The 2003 patent’s summary explains, “Hiccups lasting longer than 48 hours are called ‘persistent.’ Those lasting longer than a month are called ‘intractable.'” This device is made to zap hiccups away with a friendly shock of electricity. As the user drinks water, electrodes along a metal rod send an electric current to the vagus and phrenic nerve in an attempt to stop the hiccup.

• High-Five Machine

What if there is no one to receive your high-five? The machine “allows a user to simulate a ‘high-five’ in celebration of a positive event, thereby providing the user with a convenient outlet for the release of excitement,” according to the 1993 patent. Simply affix the high-five machine to a wall or set it on the table, and improve hand-eye coordination and mood by giving the plastic arm high-fives at your convenience. No friends necessary!

• Kissing Shield

“The Shield will help people who want to do whatever they can while kissing to practice ‘preventive medicine,'” according to the 1995 patent. A flexible thin membrane is stretched over a heart-shaped frame, which folds for easy storage and attaches to a handle for quick use. According to the patent, the kissing shield could even “be used especially by a politician who kisses babies.


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