For a lot of married couples there is no going back after infidelity. Once that boundary gets crossed then the marriage for all intent and purposes is over. It is the ultimate betrayal and nothing can be done to repair it.
In contrast more than a few husbands and wives feel exactly the opposite. Living with a cheating spouse is undoubtedly an upsetting concept but for whatever reason they have no wish to end the relationship. To them it’s an extreme challenge that must be overcome.
There are a variety of options to choose from to overcome infidelity in marriage but it really comes down to one issue. In order to start healing your own self as well as rebuilding the marriage will mean eventually you must be ready to honestly forgive your spouse.
That is not easy however there are a number of things you can actually do to help the process along.
1. Forgive Yourself First
This is not about accepting the blame for what your spouse did. It has everything to do with laying the groundwork for when you are ready to forgive your mate. Outside forces might try to coerce you into doing it now. But you know that will now work. Be aware that it can only take place once you are good and ready.
Also you are forgiving you for those feelings of self-doubt and bombarding yourself with negative thoughts. There is an inclination to beat ourselves up when another person let’s us down in some way. Therefore give attention to your needs at first long before trying to forgive your mate.
2. Accept It
Many spouses who are victims refuse to admit the idea that their mate committed adultery. They do not want to discuss it and even go out of their way in order to make like it never trasnpired.
The only thing that does is all but guarantee the marriage will never be restored the correct way. The recovery process becomes warped or in numerous instances never happens. They could still be married yet essentially they are just going through the process.
It will be painful but nevertheless accept that your mate cheated. That is the only way to move forward.
3. Two Separate Things
Make a concerted effort to differentiate between just what your cheating spouse has done from your spouse as a person. In short you are not obligated to forgive their actions.
What your mate did was inexcusable and should be recognized as such. In spite of this you still love the person you married. Considering it from that perspective could help significantly when you are learning to forgive.