Extramarital affairs are the number one cause of couples seeking advice for their marriage relationships. These infidelities create a great strain on the marriage, and can harm the entire family as well. There are some people who can never get past their spouse’s infidelity, and those marriages usually end up in divorce court. However, there are other couples who want to save their marriages and will work hard to do it. These tips can help you keep your marriage relationship intact.
Dealing with the Pain
A spouse’s affair can inflict incredible pain on their partner. Your heart can feel completely broken because of the betrayal. This is a normal reaction to finding out about your spouse’s extramarital affairs.
It often helps to talk to someone you trust about the way you are feeling, and learn from their wisdom. This could be a close and personal friend, a dear family member or even a trusted member of the clergy. Your confidant should either be married themselves, or have experience counseling people on relationships. You should never seek marriage advice from someone that has just gone through a divorce, as their advice might be tainted from their pain.
Talking to Your Spouse
You’ll need to eventually talk to your spouse about how you feel. Let them know that you are in pain over this betrayal. It is important to talk calmly about it, even though you are angry and hurt. A calm discussion will be more beneficial than a heated argument.
Once you have explained how you are feeling, you can ask about the affair. You have every right to ask any questions about it, and your spouse should be willing to answer. If you and your spouse want to work on your marriage, you will need to clear the air and get everything about the infidelity out in the open. Buried details can eat away at marriage relationships and cause the union to fail.
Marriage relationships must be built on love and trust. Once that trust is gone, it must be reestablished in order to save your marriage. Both of you will need to work on this diligently. You will need to regain that trust you once had, and your spouse will need to earn that trust back. This isn’t an easy task, but it isn’t impossible.
Everything that your spouse does should be like an open book for you now. There shouldn’t be locks for the cell phone or computer. You should have access to all passwords as well. Although in normal marriage relationships it is never advisable to go through your spouse’s private things, after an affair it can help to rebuild the trust and save your marriage.
When All Else Fails
In some marriage relationships, professional counseling is needed after extramarital affairs. There is no shame in seeking help from a counselor to save your marriage. It is essential that you both seek family therapy to overcome this infidelity.
Counselors deal with this issue every day, and they are experts in helping people find ways to make their marriage relationships survive affairs. It is the norm for the therapist to see each of you alone, and then again as a couple. This will give the counselor time to find out what each of you are thinking and feeling separately. He or she will also be able to give you specific marriage relationships advice for your situation.
Once together, your counselor will ask you both if you really want to save your marriage. Don’t be alarmed, as this is a standard question. The therapist will then begin to teach you the skills that you need to overcome this major breach of trust.
Above everything else, you need to regain faith in yourself. It is not your fault, if your partner cheated on you. You can save your marriage with dignity by believing in yourself. You can watch wisdom videos that motivate you to rebuild self-confidence and faith in yourself to save your marriage.