Sometimes we moms make life a whole lot harder than it needs to be. We struggle, we strive, and we ‘should’ ourselves to death. Well maybe not to death, but at least to stress and exhaustion. What if, instead, we could learn to go with the flow a bit more? To not resist life so much, where it wants to take us, and what wants to happen. I know, it sounds a little hokey-pokey, airy-fairy. I get that, I’m a practical gal, and a pretty grounded one too. That being said, I am on a new mission this year. My new years resolution, or intention as the new-agers like to call it, is to Go With The Flow.
So what does that mean? Well for me, it means tapping into the flow of life and energy a bit more. My intuition, my inner knowing, synchronicity, where the energy wants to take me, what wants to happen — and sometimes what IS happening and letting go of my resistance and denial about that. In a nutshell, practicing acceptance.
After much reflection I’ve realized that as a mother, and as a woman, I’ve often fixated on things that weren’t really as important as I made them out to be. And I created a lot of extra work for myself and made life much harder than it really needed to be – for example, preschool registration. With my oldest daughter I had this fixation that she just HAD to get into the morning preschool program. Afternoons were just not going to fly. In retrospect, I’m not even sure why. Getting her up, fed, dressed, and out (along with a newborn), by 8:30 am was a pretty challenging and stressful situation for all of us. But it just HAD to be that way. So I got up at 5 am on a snowy, cold morning in January to go stand in line, outside, with the other crazy moms that just HAD to have their kids in the morning session too. We stood there out in the cold until registration opened. And I got the morning spot. But at what cost to my serenity, wellbeing, and comfort? That, in retrospect, was crazy making. And as a mom to two little girls, I have enough crazy, I don’t need to be out looking for it.
And now, 3 years later, after much personal growth, development, and simply learning to give myself a break, it is time to enroll my younger daughter in preschool. That experience, so far, has gone a lot differently. I didn’t even realize it was time to register, and another mom happened to mention and offered to drop the forms at my house. I mailed in my registration and am wait listed for my preferred program. A new preschool also opened up, with a lottery system, and I’ll find out if I am selected in a couple of weeks. And it’s fine. I trust that one, or the other, will work out in the way it’s meant to, and my daughter will wind up exactly where she needs to be. That is going with the flow. And I am calm, at peace, and in a state of grace with the situation. Which mother would you rather spend your time with? Which would your kids? Which mother would rather be? We always have a choice.
Here are some tips that I learned for going with the flow and maintaining peace, serenity and calm.
Working Mother Coaching Tips for Going with the Flow
1. Trust the wisdom of the flow.
When we trust the wisdom of flow, we go with what is presented to us with as much grace, trust and openness as we can. We let go of our preconceived notions of how it ‘must’ be and allow for what is. Not only do we allow for what is, we also look for the gift in what is and trust that life is always giving us exactly what we need.
2. Do what is appropriate to create optimal outcomes.
Going with the flow doesn’t mean we completely give up and stop making an effort to create what we want. Rather, it means we make the appropriate effort, and not a mountain out of a molehill. We stop maniacally micromanaging every detail of life, and instead leave some space to go where the current takes us. This conserves our energy for what really matters. When we aren’t caught up in micromanaging we have the energy and awareness to be really present – for our partner, our children, and ourselves.
3. Connect with your intuition.
One powerful way to tap into the flow is through connecting with your intuition. There are many ways to connect with your intuition. One powerful way is to simply check in. Disrupt the chain of endless thoughts and to-do’s and go inward. You can do this by simply spending a few minutes to breath deeply, connect with your body, and relax. Then see what comes up – notice the impressions, feelings, and thoughts that your intuition brings forward. Your intuition is always there. You just need to create the space to connect with it.
4. Tune into synchronicity.
Part of going with the flow is seeing the flow. Synchronicity allows us to see the flow. Carl Jung defined synchronicity as the coming together of inner and outer events in a way that cannot be explained by cause and effect and that is meaningful to the observer. I like to think of it as the universe giving me exactly what I need, just when I need it. My job is simply to be paying attention. Like today, I have for a few days been wanting to get my car detailed — it is just so full of cookie crumbs and other kid mess and I am sick of it. But I was being stopped because I didn’t know where to take it. Then, like magic, I receive a half-off offer for a car detailing from Living Social (Living Social is like a Groupon) and the place is right near my house. Synchronicity is abundant. It is always present in life, working its magic. The problem is we are often unaware of synchronicity, so we miss the opportunity to take advantage. The first step in allowing synchronicity to support you in your life is to begin tuning into synchronicity. Begin keeping a synchronicity log. Remain in awareness, and each time a synchronicity occurs, notice and write it down. You will be pleasantly surprised at how many synchronicities there are present in your life right now. You will also begin to develop trust that this force can support and guide you.
5. Let go of resistance.
If there is one thing that blocks the flow more than anything else, it is resistance. What we resist persists, and there is a good reason for that age-old saying. When we resist something, we feed it energy and we make it stronger. That which we want to go away becomes even more present and active in our lives. So how do we work with our resistance so that we can get into the flow? The first and most critical step is to acknowledge it and get super aware that it is there. Often times that is all it takes. Because rather than giving so much of our energy to resisting, we are able to just be with it. We allow ourselves to really see the resistance, to take our blinders off, and in doing so we are often able to let it go.