If what you’re looking for is more than a temporary fling, then be prepared to look beyond the superficial. In order for the romance to last, you have to share more than mere sexual attraction with your partner. After all, we all age. Skin wrinkles and beauty fades–even if Botox suppliers work hard to convince us otherwise.
This may sound trite, but who you are with is more important than what he or she looks like. Some of the hard work required in building healthy relationships is located in this area–that is, in discovering who your partner really is. It is better to prep yourself now by asking the hard questions, rather than risk a heart-wrenching breakup later.
The following list of questions, by no means exhaustive, is meant to give you a jump start on this process. Avoid from relying only on this list to decide on whether to keep, or chuck, your partner. Instead, use it as a starting point to evaluate the quality of your relationship. Answering yes to most of these questions indicates that, chances are, your partner does you good.
1. Does your partner respect you?
Will he or she honor your individuality, even if your beliefs contradict his or hers? This is a crucial matter. For instance, let’s say that you have told your partner that you are not comfortable with being sexually intimate prior to marriage. Does he or she respect this wish? If he or she regularly attempts to pressure you to change your mind (whether on this or any other topic), then you may have just selected a partner who thinks little of you.
2. Does your partner put you first?
This question does not imply that you should lord over your partner. Still, you can tell that someone truly cares about you if he or she chooses to prioritize you over him or her. Keep in mind that we are not talking about being pushy or pushovers. Nonetheless, if you find that your partner is graciously willing to accommodate for you, without losing his or her own identity in the process, then congratulate yourself. It seems like you have found yourself a good partner.
3. Does your partner make you feel safe?
Feeling safe with your partner means more than having no incidence of domestic violence. It also means that he or she makes you feel that it’s OK to be yourself. Being with a partner who is good for you gives you the freedom to voice your own unique personality.