Fairytales or Real Love?

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We have heard a lot of times that when you meet your soul mate, you just know. Its an undeniable connection. We have also heard that people who really love each other will understand the other person without even saying anything. How can we blindly expect the other person to understand everything without even realizing the importance of communication. Expecting the other person to be falwless and understand your needs is living in a fairytale while communicating your needs is real and rational love.

Men are more reality driven as compared to women. Women want to rely on faux promises, they expect men to give them attenton, shower them with love and understand their needs and feelings. Women are looking for a relationship which makes them feel secure, protected and happy. They have made their own standards of a perfect relationship. There  is no harm in wanting the best for yourself but such standards make you vulnerable to reality. Because in reality no relationship, no person is perfect. When we think of us as weak, it gives the other person the right to govern our emotions. That is where love gets difficult.

Love has no boundaries. We love our friends, family co workers. We receive love in many ways if we open our heart. But love between a man and woman is different and such love is about growing in a relationship. Its about accepting imperfections and living with them. Its not about controlling the other person to fit your perfect fairytale. Its about being yourself and letting them be. Its about coming to terms with reality and work towards becoming a complete person. This kind of love not only requires your heart and feelings but it requires the involvement of your brain as well. The brain will help you build your self esteem. If you are in a relationship which is hurting you but you can’t let go because you fear lonliness and hurt, thinking rationally will help you learn from that experience and move on.

I have come across all sort of men in my life, i gave them control over my life and they were more than happy to ride my emotional roller coaster. The perfect handsome guy who promised to marry me didnt turn out to be that impeccable. The guy who treated me like a princess later dumped me on my ass. But i came to know a lot about myself after these guys left me. So no matter how bad a relationship is, it will always be a source of learning and whatever happens to us we will always change. Each and every relationship is a good or bad story, it has helped us know things we didnt know before and to understand ourselves and the human nature. Whether by surprise or default, we now know what a person can do to you if you hand over the remote control of your life in their hand.

Every relationship has taught us something new. Every relationship is an experience. Make a list of all the relationships you have had and write down what you could have done differently if you were wise and your brain was involved in the decision making. You will see for yourself the wonders rational thining does.

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