Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

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One of the silliest holiday movies ever made was Santa Claus Conquers the Martians that was released in 1964.  Some would classify this film as a B-movie, a sub-par science fiction adventure.  I think I would probably call it a C-level film.  It is just ridiculous and silly.  Still, it must have something in its insanity as I did sit through it over this last Christmas season and others are watching it as well.  It seems to air every year, but I am not sure what that says about our mentality.

It is hard to give credit to performers for appearing in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.  There is Pia Zadora in a long line of “who is that” actors and actressees, including supposed star John Call who plays Santa Claus.  Call does at least have the face for the part and as much as can be said of anybody, he does okay.

The ridiculous green outfits and awful makeup in this motion picture are hard to ignore.  The Martians are stereotypical green, and it is not even an exciting green.  They are ever so boring to watch.  There is zero, zip, zilch originality here.  It is a 50s comic book brought to life in an era where even B-movies should know better.

The United States Air Force footage is pretty cool, though obviously dated a couple of decades.  It may actually be the best part of the movie.

The silliness of the movie is unescapable.  You have a couple of Martian kids whose idea of fun is watching Earth TV.  Now that is scary.  Then there is the way in which Santa is portrayed, and that just feels off to me.  It’s beyond silly and goofy, and is just ridiculous, especially in some of the choices he makes.  Hey, Santa should know better.

The Santa gift making machine is fun, especially when it messes up.  That may be the most amusing part of this picture.

So, it is an odd, strange little movie, but if you want to see crazy, then give Santa Claus Conquers the Martians a one time watch.


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