Why Are You Married to That Person?

To begin, we must look at the keyword in western culture that surrounds the theme of marriage: Love. This word has lost its meaning. How so? The times when it would be common to say ‘like,’ we say ‘love’ in its stead. ‘Like’ is mostly used for when one gets some sort of fulfillment in a source of pleasure. Meaning, you are receiving something out of this source for yourself (being selfish). ‘Love,’ that is now being used at a very loose rate, can only be described with an example. A definition might not have the power to define this word. Love is when the mother gives milk to her baby wholeheartedly. Notice, that I had to add ‘wholeheartedly’ at the end of that last sentence and that the keyword is ‘giving.’

Now, let us examine the following situation. I am eating one of my favorite dishes. I’d probably shout out, ‘Oh man, I love this dish!’ Maybe, when I’m full, meaning, when the desire is fulfilled, I’d be unable to express this in truth, as the actual pleasure is absent. Remember, that the pleasure is in eating and not in being fullI. In another situation, I might’ve been eating this dish for seven days in a row. My tastebuds are getting used to it and it’s starting to lose the likeness it once received from this dish.

I am now comparing food to relationships – am I absurd? No, not me – but most people are (they are not to blame). This is exactly how the majority approach a relationship. Here we find the reason why it doesn’t work or why it doesn’t last. Is your partner somebody you care for? Or is he or she, just a dish you like to eat (getting some sort of pleasure from)? I am not just talking in code here about sex being that pleasure you receive out of your partner, but also the company – this is also a pleasure. Some cannot bear waking up alone or going to bed alone. Another possibility is that the partner is just a trophy, so that one can say ‘Yes, I’m married.’ Though, this has more to do with social status. Nevertheless, we have seen that almost everything points to the ego, selfish reception. More reasons related to the ego are: to show off to the public your high status or hot partner, or maybe you got tired of the chase game and chose to settle down with somebody that seems alright or that you’re able to tolerate.

Maybe, it would be considerate (just throwing it out there) if all those romantic comedies just start using in the place of ‘love,’ the word ‘care.’ Yet, this might also be inaccurate if the movie is portraying idealistic love as what was mentioned above, known as – love of fish. In truth, the safest way to go, should be to use the word ‘like.’

This analysis is hard to face, but if one sees marriage in the future with the current partner, one has to go through this process. For some, unfortunately, it was or is too late. The discernment has to be done. Do you worry about your partner or do you worry about you not being with your partner? Make these scrutinies, it’s your future.

Again, be aware, that there are those that seem to love another through the actions, but this might only be so, because he or she expects a reward in return. The question is: What is love? My interpretation is: When everybody benefits in regards to necessity with no one left behind. If anybody is left behind, it should bother you – this is the interpretation I go by. Surprisingly, it is as if I have thrown the word out of the context of marriage, because so is the nature of the word. If our whole world’s laws and institutions are not based according to that last defintion I tried pulling off, those who are going through or went through divorce, who were brought up in it, have no one to blame. Our world, especially the west, is dominated by this perception called ‘love of fish.’

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