Tips For Realizing Your Fears

There are many simple steps that you can use if you want to uncover the fears that hold you down and hamper all your successes.

Here is a human illustration that can help you to understand. There is a friend of mine who has a passion for becoming a psychologist such as a therapist or a counselor. He has made some sacrifices like retuning to a college when he is already mature. However, afterwards he had to endure many uncertainties. He says that there are too many reasons for his uncertainties, so let us look at them one by one.

He has an acquaintance who works as a psychologist. The best story talked in this circle of friends is about a self-destructive client. The suffering that this client is putting on one of his friends was too enormous. He tried to kill himself and he said that it would be his friend’s fault. One day the client vanished leaving many incoherent messages on the psychologist’s telephone. The therapist became ravaged thinking that he has done what he had threatened to do. The good news is that he did not do it and he returned to therapy after two weeks and he began making some progress too.

The therapist’s suffering had a negative impact on my friend. He is normally too sensitive and with empathy that goes beyond knowing what the other person experiences, most of the time he his able to feel what the other person feels. He began to think about what may happen in case he was the one to handle the client. Will he be able to change his self-destructive tendency? Since the therapist was getting some sleepless nights, it means that my friend’s pain was more than the therapist!

Reality v/s Scrutiny

This is his excuse and it is the seed of his fear. He has to first defeat it in case he wants to go ahead on the path he has chosen. One day he took time to look at this and began to ask himself if he is emotionally as feeble as he had believed.

In the end, he decided that he was not. He decided that he can be sensitive but he is not as feeble as he had believed in the past. Some scattered events without even scrutinizing them led him to falsify his own self image.

The exercise was not meant to twist fear in a different direction but it was made to make him to believe that he was made of stone. It is getting all the perceptions as close to truth as is possible. He believed that if something like that can happen to him and him being affected by it will not mean the end of his world. He will be able to handle any problem.

Moving away distortion

After assessing his excuses, he was able to turn his attention to the event. How many clients he may have met with self-destructive tendency? What is the probability for his clients to react in this way? Will they do what it entails? This will mean that he had failed as a psychologist and he will be called a manslayer. It would be an observation of his value or of himself. Is there any vocation that would not involve such an amount of suffering?

Get rid of your emotions

The conclusion of this story is that my friend had to stay awake a couple of nights in his own home. He was doing some research and he was trying to get rid of his fear. He thought about this worst scenario and he was able to let go of his own fear of thinking that the same thing could happen to him. 

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