Succeed at Dating – How to Deal With Dating Issues Without the Drama
How do you succeed at dating when it always seems to end in drama? If you haven’t learnt great communication skills as you are growing up, you can often have problems negotiating what you want in dating and relationships, as well as dealing with the situations that you would rather didn’t occur. Let’s face it, sooner or later in every new relationship, problems are going to arise. And it’s essential to be able to deal with them when they do if you want your relationship to progress beyond the dating phase. This article will help you to handle dating communication around the concerns and disagreements that inevitably crop up, to take your new relationship from strength to strength.
So how do you deal with issues during dating? Do you sweep them under the carpet or do you throw a full-blown tantrum? Or could it be a mixture of both? Many women try to avoid handling issues in the early stages of a relationship as they are scared of upsetting the apple cart. They think that if they tell a man how they are feeling then he will run a mile. And there may be some truth in this – it can often be based on past experience. If it’s happened before then it may well happen again.
The problem with this approach is that if you are hiding how you feel, resentment tends to build up unnoticed and, rather than dealing with the situation, it eventually blows up out of all proportion. And then the drama ensues. For many couples, that’s when she throws the tantrum and he disappears. Next time she has an issue with a man, she fears to bring it up because of what happened last time and the same thing happens. This can easily become a repeating relationship pattern.
If you want to succeed at dating, the trick is to deal with the situations that you don’t like or want early on, preferably before you become too attached to him. In order to do so you must expect good standards and be prepared to let a man go if he doesn’t live up to them. This type of attitude is actually very attractive to a man. When you can bring issues up, you show him that you have good boundaries and are not prepared to tolerate bad behaviour. When you value yourself in this way, he sees you as valuable. So, you can and should tell him how you feel. But you must do it without criticising him and without getting overly emotional. Maturity and acceptance are the order of the day in strong relationships.
Now that you’ve told him, it is highly possible that you will trigger a withdrawal response because you mentioned something that he’s not sure about. But this doesn’t mean that he has disappeared out of your life. It is simply a typical male reaction to pull back to consider his response. So you must stay patient and hang on in there. You have said your piece and now you wait for him to respond.
However, this is where many women lose their cool and start backtracking. They are scared they may be losing him so they start begging and pleading. All this drama quickly turns him off. The woman he thought was so cool has turned into an emotional wreck. She seems desperate to keep him at any cost. He doesn’t want to come back to that so now he will resist. And so the pattern becomes more deeply entrenched as she becomes more fearful to bring up any issues in the future.
It seems that this type of clingy response is almost inborn for many women and this causes many more problems than simply bringing up an issue in a mature fashion. Following your natural instincts at these times can often mean the early death of your relationship.
However, when you understand the differences between male and female communication, you can succeed at dating. When you can remain patient and wait, the chances are that he will return to the relationship which has now become stronger than ever. And, without the behaviour that you did not want. And if he is not willing to consider changing his behaviour, then you have to make the decision about whether he is the man for you. And this is where your power lies – in patience, good communication skills and taking responsibility for your choices. This is how you will find the strong, loving relationship that you are looking for.
To succeed at dating and find a strong, loving relationship, you need to understand what really makes a man feel good. There is a certain type of woman that a man is irresistibly attracted to. She knows how to captivate him and communicate with him to draw him close and get him to respond in the ways that she wants. You can learn to be the type of woman that men adore and never want to leave. For more information on how to succeed at dating please feel free to visit my website.