The Guilt Laden Century

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 Happenings: Circa 2001

I am still wondering why Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi had to pull a fast one on Bin Laden of all persons. Well, no point in naming the joint output of their Mixed Doubles’ Joint Venture as Jaden Gill. Their joint explanation for this Bill of Lading, I mean Laden, sorry Jaden, was ..”it is Hebrew for at last he has come!” simply went over my head. Was Andre having doubts after post-divorce blues in Brooke Shield’s Broken Blue Lagoon? The immediate flirtation with over-the-hill  Barbara Streisand was a stepping stone-cum-stabiliser, leading to this Grand Slam, Slam! Bang! Thank You, Mam! Finally, falling in Love with a fading graph left many of his admirers disappointed.

 Happenings And Spoonerisms:

Dr. Spooner wouldn’t mind this athletic bout of spoonerism with Agassi’s seismograph, ie. whether he is leaving the bed shaking? rising? or falling? After the Laden Act on 9/11, this superbrat named Jaden Gill must’ve had the last laugh when he emerged from the Center Court, on October 26, after a long rally of “Love, Serve and Volley”, between Andre and Steffi, rendering several Staffi-stalkers jobless. A German or French name for the young ‘un would’ve made some Tennis-sense, but who are we to question the lovey-dovey duo’s exclusive love-all business, not Bin Laden’s or Al Quaida’s. That Jaden Gill had his own high-brow method of forcing his Biological Gene-Parents to tie the nuptial knot, a fortnight before his birth is itself stuff that Biblical Miracles are made of! In a Materialistic Society, to be jointly parented has become an exception rather than the rule. Let Jaden Gill live to be a symbol of “Parented At Last!” and “Better Parented Late Than Never!”

Happenings: Circa 2002.

The scene in South America’s Lima, was tragi-comic. A 14-year old Zarai Toledo was “nappy-ragging” none other than Peru’s President, Alejandro Toledo, to recognise her as his legitimate daughter from an extra-terrestrial, I mean extra-marital alliance with Lacrecia Ozorco. Apparently Geniuses Worldwide Inc., has always had a penchant for their lay, I mean way, whether it is in matters pre-marital, post-marital or extra-marital. We are reminded of Pioneering Picasso’s all too frequent risque brushes, Awesome Pele with his non-stop dribbling and succumbing to numerous Paternity Suits, Cavalier Viv Richards acknowledging that one Indian Swallow did make an Indian Summer, Sitar Maestro Ravi Shankar having extra-marital Popstar offsprings in USA and India almost simultaneously!..God, the list is endless.

Conclusion: Circa 2009.

One can only hope that now Jaden Gill who will be completing 8-years on October 26, 2009 will carry on his Gene-parents’ Grandslam Tennis prowess in the years to come. Zarai Toledo will be completing 22-years on December 16, 2009. After 13-years of Court battle, Zarai and her Single Mom made the Peruvian President(2000-2006) publicly acknowledge her as a bona-fide Toledo Gene-Lovechild! It didn’t matter thereafter that there was only one single phone-call from father to daughter till date! Ironically, a closer look at South East Asia reveals stories of several hundred guilt-laden kids sired by you-know-who? This inhuman ingenuity in exploiting the misery of human frailty must be universally condemned.

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