We were born with unique needs, unique personalities. We do not need another person to make us whole or make us feel complete. If we cannot make ourselves whole then every relationship we find ourselves in is doomed. Self-realization. Self-acceptance. Self-appreciation. These are some of the things that we must work on in order not to feel alone. We have to accept that we are a being whole the moment we were born into this world. When we start a relationship it shouldn’t be because we do not want to be alone but because we want to share a part of our being with another person. This way we avoid the list of what not to do’s in relationships. We must maintain this sense of self throughout the relationship. We must enter it whole and we must leave it whole.
Honesty. This does not only describe your relationship with other people rather it also includes your relationship with yourself. Are you being honest about your expectations or were these expectations simply borne out of what the world imposes on you? The world demands impossible things from people. Perfect. That’s what best describes it. You have to be perfect in order to become accepted. But I am telling you now, you do not need acceptance from the world to be whole. YOU have to accept yourself.
Evaluate. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Self-assessment is the word. Determine the reason behind your wants. Are they simply out of selfish reasons or desire to please the world? Ask not what a relationship can do for you, but ask what you can do for a relationship.
Give. Love yourself, but not in a way that excludes everything else. Love yourself in a way that you would be able to overflow this love to others. Love unselfishly. But love with a complete sense of who and what you are.
Practice. Learning everything there is to know about yourself is lost if you cannot share what you are to other people. Practice makes perfect. It’s a cliché, yes, but it’s a cliché because there is truth in it. What we practice becomes an automatic part of ourselves. We reach a point when we no longer have to think, every response becomes an automatic expression of our self.
Lastly, you must remember that relationship is not merely man/woman relationship. It includes your family and friends. What we seem to forget is that we could get as much companionship from family and friends as with an exclusive relationship with the opposite sex. Maintaining a good one with you family and friends would be the best way to start a life of never being alone. Besides if everything else fails it’s good to know that we have families to turn to and friends to cry with.