The worst feeling ever

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It was a typical Saturday night and Kevin Drake found himself in a very unusual situation indeed. It wasn’t simply the fact that he was currently standing in a packed “Moonlight Club” in London’s West End. No, it was more the fact that he stood in said club, leaning against the bar whilst more or less enjoying his Caipirinha and watching her chatting with this other guy.

Usually, it would be him, standing there with a hot, blonde, silicone-enhanced beauty – his chosen eye candy for that particular evening – in one hand and a cool sexy drink in the other. Usually, she would be the one left standing next to them both, smiling shyly in her own complimentary way and trying to keep the conversation alive for as long as humanly possible, until that inevitable moment when he would drag said beauty onto the dance floor, holding her body tightly to his and whispering naughty little words into her cute little ears. Usually, it would be her watching them from a distance, holding a drink in her hands – which would probably be her only decent conversation partner for the entire evening – and admiring both him and the blonde whilst simultaneously focusing on the depressing fact that they both seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely on the dance floor whilst not wasting a single nano-second of their time thinking about how she must feel about having been left on her own once again.

But nothing was as simple today. And for a man like Kevin Drake who was used to the whole world, plus the sun and the stars, revolving around him this was kind of hard to swallow. Suddenly it was no longer him who was the centre of attention but this other guy she’d brought along with her tonight. Tonight, it seemed, somebody would be paying her all the attention.

Maggie Dawes had been his best friend for years now. She was the kind of woman who would always be there whenever he needed her. Regardless of whether he was suffering from a bout of the flu or from an unwelcome hangover, he could be 100% sure she would be at his flat no more than an hour later with either a welcome bowl of warm chicken soup, a couple of aspirin or, if he was extremely lucky, both. She would also be there for him when he needed somebody to decorate his flat with a nice feminine touch before one of his latest conquests came round for the first time and she would happily assist him with sending out one million flyers for his latest business idea. Above all, however, she would be an enormous boost for his ego, as he could always be certain that in her eyes, at least, he would always be the sharpest, wittiest and comeliest man on Planet Earth. Or at least so he thought. But tonight’s events alone had proved this theory to be wholly incorrect, as Maggie Dawes had brought somebody else along with her instead. Somebody she had previously referred to as being her “date”. That had puzzled him deeply. Why did she have to have a ‘date’? Wasn’t he good enough ‘date’ material anymore?

Kevin Drake was, alas, that kind of person who would always put himself first, swiftly followed by a little more of himself, perhaps throw in some blonde or brunette or redhead, a further dash of his own stunning reflection and then maybe, only maybe (and only if he’d either had a very good or very bad day) would he then notice anybody else. And he would also, invariably, notice that he himself was often the centre of attention. Mostly by the countless women who would all too easily hang onto his lips, eyes and hips like ripe cherries on a tree. And although Maggie Dawes was not one of them he’d become accustomed to the fact that she was always there for him – to both admire him and adore him and, most of all, for him to always rely upon.

But tonight Maggie Dawes had not come alone and it was, therefore, no longer her, but him, who was currently stood next to the bar alone and watching from a distance. For the first time it was her who had brought a date. Another man, and one that was, admittedly, not that bad looking. Well, of course he was no competition for Kevin Drake Drake, but he had to admit that this guy was the type he never thought would be interested in Maggie Dawes in a million years. Not that he could really imagine what type of man would be interested in Maggie Dawes. In fact he sometimes even wondered whether there was, in fact, any man who would really be interested in Maggie Dawes. Surely if Kevin Drake wasn’t interested in her then why should anyone else be? But what was bugging him even more than this was the fact that he had never previously imagined that Maggie Dawes could be interested in any other man than him and him alone. But stood alone by the bar, his gaze fixed on the two of them, it was slowly dawning on him that this may well be the case. To put it simply Maggie Dawes was interested in another man and for Kevin Drake this was a most unfamiliar sensation indeed.

And so it was that he continued to stand there with his hands in his pockets, watching how Maggie Dawes proceeded to drag her date on the dance floor and how the date obediently followed her like a faithful hound, smiling as if he had just that moment hit the million pound jackpot. At first they only danced on their own, not touching each other, merely smiling, giggling and grinning like people usually do when they are on a first date. Kevin Drake just stood there watching them with a bored look in his eyes and a growing feeling of frustration that none of the ladies in the Club that night seemed to have even noticed him. Everybody around him seemed happy and full of life and it seemed to him that he was the only one on his own right now. The speakers reverberated to the sounds of some loud disco beat that all at once made him feel his heartbeat in the back of his throat as the crowd continued to jump up and down whilst also clapping and screaming in time with the ever-present beat. But then, mere seconds later, not only the music but also the atmosphere in the room change as the DJ played a smoother, sexier and altogether sleeker song.

It wasn’t necessarily a romantic song, rather one that automatically drew the couples closer and made their movements altogether more elegant and smoother. It was the type of beat you simply couldn’t resist and none of the couples out their tonight would have dared to leave the dance floor now. Even so Kevin Drake did not dance himself. He still couldn’t take his eyes off the couple in front of him.

All at once Kevin Drake noticed the way Maggie Dawes’s body seemed to move to the rhythm of the beat and how her shoulders would glide gracefully through the air in time to the rhythm and tempo of the song. Her hips would twist and turn this way and that in a way he never realised they could, her long legs looked impossibly sexy in that black mini skirt of hers and the black top she had on did wonders to accentuate the gentle curves of her body. He became all too aware of how well formed her chest was, how soft and tender her breasts looked in the top he had never seen her in before and how they slowly rose and fell whenever she turned in synchronicity with the music of the night. He could do nothing but stand there utterly captivated by her hair, which spilled over her shoulders in a caramel-blonde waterfall that shimmered like fine sparkling champagne.

Why had he never noticed all this before? He couldn’t get around this thought. And it was at that precise moment that Kevin Drake realised something, something so important and profound that it shook his little world to its very roots. He finally realised that Maggie Dawes was a woman.

He suddenly realised how damn gorgeous she was, how much he enjoyed watching her dancing just inches away from him, how beautiful and open her smile was that was formed from the most gorgeous full lips he had ever seen and how he loved to watch the shine of her hair as the disco lights were reflected in it. He enjoyed this warm feeling growing inside him, along with the feeling of surprise about this sudden realization. For not only had it triggered the usual feelings any woman would make him feel – desire and lust – but it also felt soft and sweet inside of him and filled him up, especially around his chest, but also in other parts of his body turning his usual stiff expression into something resembling a smile. But this feeling only lasted a moment until the simple fact hit him that Maggie Dawes’s date must feel precisely the same way about her – his right hand slowly ran through Maggie Dawes’s caramel-blonde champagne hair and his left hand touched her softly on her shoulder, pulling her towards him. And in a sudden moment of abject horror he became all too aware of how Maggie Dawes seemed to rather enjoy this touching and pulling of her as she did not visibly pull away, as he had hoped, but rather moved closer to him deriving intense pleasure from what her appearance seemed to be doing to him. She enjoyed not only the attention but also every touch she received from him. And the guy was very keen to touch her, much to Kevin Drake’s displeasure. He saw how the guy’s hands encircled Maggie Dawes’s waist before moving ever so slowly down to her hips, caressing her pale arms and drawing her ever closer until only millimetres separated them both. Finally he grabbed her with both his arms and pulled her whole body next to his so that her soft chest came at last to a rest on his. In that very moment it made Kevin Drake’s heart ache to he see how this guy held in his arms what he so desperately longed to hold himself right now.

Even worse, however, was the simple fact that he could do nothing but watch in utterly consternation as the guy continued to touch Maggie Dawes’s hair, her cheeks and finally her full beautiful lips with that lustrous gloss on top, pulling her closer one final time and placing his own lips on top of hers. He also couldn’t believe it when she did not disagree in the slightest with this sudden approach but rather leaned in for more, closing her eyes and raising her head upwards like a little kitten enjoying the sun shining straight into her face. He stood there watching as the guy tried to let his tongue slip into Maggie Dawes’s mouth and all at once felt a deep sadness as her soft rosy tongue parted her lips once more and she allowed herself to fall into a passionate kiss with this other man.

All of a sudden, the feelings of passion, desire and greed along with this sweet feeling he had never felt before, were replaced by another. He had never felt it before, never had there been a reason for it, never had there been a woman around him that could have triggered this feeling that was so hard for him to stand right now. It came crawling out of his guts, he could feel it burning there until it moved upwards to his stomach almost turning it upside down and making him feel nauseous. It was like a black slimy leech, moving slowly and painfully inside his chest. It left nothing but a burning pain wherever it passed until it finally reached the upper part of his body where his heart lay beating. It felt as if the leech was infecting his whole body, poisoning him slowly from the inside. This was the worst feeling ever … this feeling called jealousy.

Kevin Drake could feel his heart racing, beating faster by the second. He felt sick and full of pain and started to sweat, sweeping away the moisture from his forehead and running his hand through the thick hair that was kept in form by tons of pomade. As he had never felt this feeling before he didn’t know how to react to it. He tried to fight it, but the view of his sweet Maggie Dawes being squeezed, hugged and kissed by this other man made him not only feel helpless but also angry. So angry, in fact, that he suddenly found himself walking over to the pair, grabbing the other guy’s arm, pulling him away from Maggie Dawes and punching him clean on the nose before dragging him down to the floor. Whilst the poor guy lay flat on the floor holding his bleeding nose, Kevin Drake continued to kick him in his sides, laying into his ribs time and time again and throwing himself on top of him with the full force of his knees straight into his chest. What followed was a violent crusade of punches wherever he could land his fists. In blind fury he punched and slapped and let his knuckles batter the guy’s face to a pulp. He didn’t feel anything but rage until the blood that was splattering out of the guy’s mouth and nose let him feel something warm and wet between his fingers. This feeling helped ease the pain and anger burning within and suddenly he found himself calm and collected once again.

That was when he realised that he was still standing next to his Caiprinha on the bar beside him, still watching Maggie Dawes with her date kissing and hugging and slowly dancing, still clenching and unclenching his hands into a fist inside his pockets and that the last few minutes had existed only in his imagination.

For it seemed that Kevin Drake was nothing but a coward.


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