Left alone like a bat out of hell

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What things can men and women have arguments about?

Right! About anything! I think that there’s not a single topic in this world, men and women couldn’t agree to disagree. Although, generally I’ve got the attitude that a certain divergence is healthy to obtain another point of view and therefore it’s beneficial to gain diversity of opinions. Nonetheless, there simply are some topics, being handled so differently by men and women that the only solution for them is to keep separate as far as possible.

And I even had to face how fast you could end up left alone..

I really could have dreamt of many ways to enter into a fight (some ways I could have even conceived), but my imagination could have never have thought of being left alone in a forest because of the topic “bats”.

There could have been other ways to start the New Year, sleeping the whole day, enjoying a relaxed day on the couch, watching tv endlessly…but no – mine started with receiving a phone call on 1 January, letting me know that a bat has settled down in male’s flat (probably to enjoy a champagne brunch).
Ok – of course I have to admit that I had not supposed that a 6′ tall and 120 kg heavy man would see a tremendous problem in a bat and even if, why should I have thought that he could really consider to call me for help to get rid of it when being 5 km bee-line away, especially at midday of the first day of the year.

When’s a man a man? When you watch movies and he is acting as the hero with beating, shooting, stabbing or whatever to erase his opponent? When being in the business world of today and he needs to be a bit of a bully so that he will sign a new business? When you have to manage not to cry while watching Bambi, Love Story or Dr. Schiwago..?

Yeah, men can be hard in putting away. But I had to realise not when putting away a bat.

After having obstinately refused to rush for help, but at least having given him the telephone number of the animal ambulance, I also gave him the advice not to touch the bat barehanded, but rather wear gloves as you could not know where the teeth of this little cute thing had been put before.
It seemed that this had not been enough as the whole family being available in the near neighbourhood gathered in his flat – respectively in his bed room where the cutie vampire slept – and they all discussed what to do and especially how to do it.

The following short stories about his cousin’s bed room adventures with 25 bats in the same room, when having been to the Caribbean and how cute and lovely they had been, I just wanna left them being told. Despite all that spoken courage I need to admit, that I was disappointed of the active courage. As they didn’t even want to touch a hair on its head or to scare it too much, they had to think about the whole action carefully.

Believe it or not – the sooo cute little animal had left the flat 3 (!) hours later and I’m convinced it was very grateful for its rescue, if you think about the temperature outdoors in January.

The really fascinating point was, that at the end of the day it was not the bat who was bad, but me who was the bad girl (until today I have always asked myself why the supporting actors always end up being the villains)
Eventually, not the bat, that was finally freezing its butt off somewhere outside, was in the centre of topics, but MY allegedly irrational fear of this animal and that I had really had the guts to suggest not to touch it barehanded. Actually I must have mistaken them with animals somewhere deep deep in the southern hemisphere (because that’s where I had been for holidays) and there such bats would be like vampires and spreading diseases (all of a sudden? And what about the ones in the Caribbean??), but here in Europe such would not exist and the word rabies could only be found in an encyclopaedia.

Why then at least 4 persons had to surround this animal and needed 3 hours to remove it and that I had to be disturbed during my new-years-day-nap – I can’t tell.

A really stunning turn of the whole story – which I had almost completely forgotten – occurred two weeks later, in the forest.

Practically, it is never a good idea to argue in public, I truly admit this. But it gives you the ultimate kick to do this in a forest – far away from any so-called civilisation, especially if you happen to be there for the first time.
As mentioned, fights between men and women are different. They mostly lack any kind of logic. The objective level is left when taking a deep breath and the emotional one hits your face by the first sentence.

Anyway, the absolute overkill was (and yet it was not enough that the topic “bat” in combination with gloves was suddenly no reason for a weepy sound in his voice, but rather reason for true guffaws of laughter; and that from a person who wanted to have an urgent meeting with UN and NATO just to find a solution for the problem), when I meant that I would not interfere his problem solving and that he would do better without my advice, that he suddenly left me in a huff, alone in the forest, while he ran away like a frantic boar.

How comes that men are so good in turning the tables, that they are in a snit, although they had made fun of someone else and had mocked them. Is it because they absolutely don’t want to admit, that they are also not impeccable, that they could also be in the weaker position once and that others can also give a good advice every now and then?

When I tried to find my way out of the forest, looking for civilisation, while he had disappeared into the coppice, I made two new resolutions: No 1 – never to pick up the phone on New Years Day, No 2 – in case of doubt I would always prefer the bat. This one might be able to suck like Dracula, but at least it could never suck like this particular bloke…


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