Usually men and women are confronted with the following situation: Pub, a crush, loud music, man is standing at the bar, woman is standing at the bar too. Man looks at woman, male brain cell is sending the impulse “Oh, nice appearance”, woman looks at man, female brain cells understand as quick as a flash the whole situation and are sending the impulse “Gosh, that tie with that shirt?” and before woman can react, man interprets the look as interest and starts with a “refreshing new” sentence like “Do we know each other?”
Probably such uncomfortable incidents are the reason why dating websites are on a rise and blind dates have become rather common sense than exceptions. It has become normal to register for such websites and the talks in offices or with friends are discussing questions like “How does he look like?”, “Does she match your expectations?” or “How did you recognize each other?”
Certainly, this way of blind dating bears the advantage not to be confronted with the accusation of being shallow. In many cases there are no pictures exchanged and so you can keep some anonymity. On the other hand you could also assume that people are only interested in personal qualities.
The remaining question is if this is still true, if you sit in front of someone and you ask yourself if it is too rude just to jump up and run away screamingly. How to deal with such a situation? Well, I personally tend to be a person not getting frightened too easily, neither by physical appearance nor by special spleens. You could also say it this way – I queued twice when tolerance was portioned out. And I know that the human race as a whole is not really perfect (I’m definitely not an exception), so some lack of perfection is not an obstacle to have a nice conservation.
Lately, I had to become painfully aware of that even I do have a limit and that border should better not be crossed. The first impression was not that bad, though I didn’t really enjoy the choice of coffee house, as it was one of these ones where people rather like to display their arrogance and wanna-be-status, but ok, I was prepared to sit and wait. After some minutes (and I really do mean this literally) I knew I should have run and hidden somewhere.
The first topic was really topic no 1. Ok, I wasn’t that much surprised as I know that for guys topic no 1 is on rank no 1, but this kind of conversation made my left eyebrow wander up and down.
It appears that some blokes do not have any problem with telling any totally unknown female person about their likes and dislikes in this respect, along with some special tone in their voice and some wild, almost hysterical twinkling in their eyes.
Please, don’t think I’m prude – I don’t have any problem with talking about sex, but some guys nowadays have sub-topics a woman never even thought she would hear. After some while of listening and some visions that came into my mind that had to do with me being handcuffed in some dark cellar and being tortured with obscenities, it was ‘surprising’ that the date was finished five minutes later.
Do we really wonder that women don’t think it is joyful to be chained in a musty cellar and being called by invectives?
Guys, of course Ladies also like to talk about ‘interpersonal activities’, but not at the first date, not in public places and definitely not in such dimensions. Don’t you know – for such ‘mates’ they have invented special telephone numbers?!