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I was the last person in my district to get a cell phone.  I waited until schoolers, helpers, unemployed idlers had their phones before taking the plunge. 

I went to my local cell phone seller and said; “Give me the Cheapest Phone You Have.”

You could have heard a pin drop.  This language is unheard of in Jamaica in most quarters.  I say ‘most’ and not ‘all’ because there is a segment of the population which, like me, always asks for ‘the cheapest’.

After the clerk regained equilibrium, for he’d never heard such language in his life, he gave me what can be called a
“Missyouleftyourphone.”  I say it can be called, because disregarding the name on the face, any time I walk away and leave the phone, I hear; “Miss, you left your phone.”

Hence I had no fear of anyone trying to steal it.  No one would be caught dead with such a phone. 

In Jamaica, the guy who pumps your gas and has to take off his shoes to make change, will have a ‘Blackberry’.  He doesn’t have an email account, sending text messages, considering he’s borderline illiterate, is not likely, but he can pull out his cell phone and think; “I’m somebody!”

School girls will have sex with any man who buys them a Blackberry. Many men, upgrading their phones will take the old one, and find a likely school girl.

This is how important the ‘right’ cell phone is to the survival of the ego.

Asking for the cheapest phone actually put me in the prestigious category of the rich.  For only the rich will ask for the cheapest.  Be it a microwave or radio; the cheapest is usually the best.  This is because rich people will drive from one end of the island to another to return an item that doesn’t work. Poor people are afraid to complain. Poor people will ask for the ‘Best’ and the best is usually an overpriced lump of garbage they’ve been trying to off load for years.

Sure, a rich person will buy the ‘best’ when it matters; but when it’s some minor appliance who are they impressing?


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