Not long ago I attended a networking social. Most of the conversations that night started and ended the same way with an exchange of business cards upon moving on to the next interesting person.
The venue was beautiful and the grounds were amazing. I loved being there and the people were relaxed and having a good time. It was a great way to break up a work filled day. The food and wine added a delicious flavor to the whole experience.
When I network I focus on the other person with whom I’m speaking. I learned a long time ago, if I’m talking, I’m not learning. If I’m not learning then how in the world would I even know what to say to the other person that will engage them in a conversation they truly want to be in?
Meeting people and building rapport comes easily to me. Relationships are my specialty. I coach people on how to create richer and deeper relationships with them self, their significant other, their children, their parents, siblings and business relationships.
As I moved on and approached a lovely lady. I started a conversation just the same as the 10 before. I introduced myself and immediately inquired about her and what she does for a living. From what I was picking up, that was not the conversation she really wanted to be in. Instead of pretending this was not going on I blurred out, “I’m sensing you do not want to be talking about your business, what’s going on right now in this moment for you?”
That’s when the conversation changed and the focus shifted to a personal relationship that just ended for her. The break up was not what she wanted. She wanted to continue working on the relationship but that was not what the man wanted. As I was intently listening to her perspective I articulated back to her what I heard from her point of view and his point of view through her eyes.
As a life coach who specializes in relationships. I provide a male perspective into a women’s world. I coach women to communicate more effectively so they feel more loved and heard. I asked this lovely lady if I can offer her my professional opinion. She was stunned by the fact that I was willing to provide her with some insight, tips and strategies to help her in any relationship she was having problems with.
The four tips and strategies below is what I suggested she do. I went on to tell her these four tips and strategies will help her in any relationship in all areas of her life no matter if they are personal or business related.
Here are the four tips and strategies:
* Don’t make assumptions. Ask safe and opened-ended questions to get the answers you need.
* For an honest and open conversation make sure you provide a safe space. If one of you has to win, you both lose.
* Relationships are designed and agreed upon by both parties. The relationship can always be re-designed.
* The relationship needs to support what you are asking of it.
Feel free to try on any or all of the above and connect with me and let me know what had changed.