Abuse is way too common in close personal relationships. I am talking about people who live under one roof with you. People like your immediate family or your significant other. These interpersonal relationships are supposed to be the most relationships in our lives. However, they can also be the most difficult relationships in our lives.
Being close to someone does not mean that you cannot have a life of your own. It does not mean that you cannot live according to your own rules and guidelines. You can still own yourself and be your own boss even when you share a roof with other people.
The way to maintain your sanity and independence is to know your limits and establish personal boundaries. Do not allow other people to cross the line and make you scared or uncomfortable. It does not matter whether you are right or wrong. You are a free person and deserve the right to live peacefully and without fear. You should demand respect for yourself and never allow someone to control or intimidate you. No person is worth it. Trust me.
I am a survivor of domestic abuse. The abuse that I have experienced as a child growing up was never so much physical. It was more like constant mental stress. My parents rarely ever hit me. Only a few times when the arguments got out of control. However, my parents were control freaks. They expected me to do only as they saw fit and could not care less about what I wanted to do for myself.
At home I was always supposed to fit the description of their perfectly good daughter. This meant that I could not have friends, I could not have a boyfriend, I could not go out, and I could not even go to the school of my choosing. My parents wanted for me to forget about graduating from college and simply stay home to live with them and take care of them for the rest of my life.
My parents would do anything to control me. They would threaten me, deprive me of financial means, and try to isolate me from my friends and everyone else in the world. At nineteen I had to pack my bags and leave my home. I was crying every night because of the arguments that took place at home. I really could not deal with it any longer.
Thankfully I was able to get a fifteen thousand dollar scholarship from the Jewish Foundation for the Education of Women. With this money I was able to leave home and graduate business school. Maybe I was a bad daughter for leaving my home. However, I really feel that I had no other choice. If I had stayed, I would have lost my mind.
A few days back I have changed my phone number and now my abusive family cannot contact me and threaten me anymore. As a result of having an abusive past, I have also suffered from abuse in my romantic relationships. I guess it is because I had low self esteem and did not know what a good man really was. I know better now and will be much more careful about the kind of people that I choose to let into my life. I have finally been able to clear the slate after so many years of emotional abuse. I am ready to start over and build pleasant and healthy relationships in my life. I will take my time to get to know people and I will only keep those people around whom I can trust.