In modern days, teenagers are not only influenced by the peer group but media has played a significant role in the way teenagers behave and interact with people. Parents having strained relationships with their teenagers are not uncommon nowadays and most parents are left to wonder what we could be doing wrong. The fact of the matter is; parents are still the same as they used to be and the only difference is that you have not taken enough time to try and understand your teenager.
First, the parents should know that teenagers want them to be involved in their life, no matter how they pretend that they can do without parents; they are simply testing the parents. On the surface this is true, but deep inside themselves they want to share with the parents the fear, the joy and dreams that they have. They are usually not ready to open up to parents as in most cases; parents discourage them with those analyses long type of lecture. This only creates a bigger gap between the parents and the teenager. They need guidance instead as psychologically they don’t know what they really want to become as they suffer from identity crisis. The challenge is sit down with your teenager, try to understand her and don’t judge. Give her wisdom that she really need which helps her to create that identity.
The peer pressure influence. In most cases, teenager will not accept that they are influenced in any way by the peers but deep inside their heart, they are always wondering whether other friends are talking about them, what others are wearing. You will definitely end up with those petty fights in case you decide otherwise. It is important to let teenagers have their choice. No matter how much you may try to argue with your teenager. It true at long last you will not win. They prefer getting support and guidance from their peers than the parents. The challenge for parents is to get teens to accept values that will steer them through their turbulent years. You can also try to use peer group indirectly to pass those messages to a teenager; use community groups or church groups. In making rules, involve the teenager in following those rules. Talk about the problems, listen to their side and find a common ground. Don’t argue, lecture, analyze or judge them for their thoughts instead try to reason with them and find that common ground.
Parents should understand that teenager experience mood swings. You may be smiling with her in a moment and within few seconds, she might be crying. This is just fine and part of teenager life. The best thing is find those opportunities that can make them active and at the same time learn to swing the mood to positive one. Look for activities that they can enjoy.
Lastly, try to teach your teenager how to be responsible. Most teenagers lack those management skills and find hard to co-ordinate even their daily schedule. Teaching time management skills may help. Decide what you can negotiate with your teenager and what must be done. They can be good manipulators if parents just leave them to do what they want. Let them also understand the importance of learning and involve them in practices involving the subject that they learn in school.