Another letter

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So many things had happened over the years and sometimes I don’t recognise myself, the woman reflected in the mirror, but I like the person that I am when I’m with you. A few years ago this saying would’ve been crazy, silly even but not now. I remember once saying that: “We may not have a chance to meet each other” and two years later we met.

Right away you fit perfectly into the family like a god uncle. We even have a picnic and also we had our first dance together. I remember perfectly that vacation of yours here. I remember the last night you were here. We went to a cafe, we talked, you told me hot it felt being in the navy, we decided then to leave the place and walk; by coincidence we found a park, we found a bench like the one from our valentines date. When we were before that bench, we looked at each other and laughed. We sat down, we looked at the stars. There was so much silent in that moment, the perfect moment for a kiss that didn’t come; instead I got a: “Let’s go, it’s late,, I have a plain to catch tomorrow morning.” Talking about magic being broken.

The next day, you didn’t say good bye. My Mom told me later on that you said good bye to her and to the kids, she saw you enter into their rooms and kiss them good bye without waking them up. For me there was no good bye, no kiss, just a note.

When I read it it was like having you there, I clearly heard your voice. In that note you explained to me why you didn’t say good bye. It was really hard to do so; you decided not to do it at all. You said: “Now I know it’s true; the way I feel about you, it’s really complex. No one makes me feel the way you do, so much peace, so much freedom. I confess, I wanted to kiss you last night. I think the taste of your lips would taste like heaven and I’m not ready to go to heaven yet. Only God knows why we feel the way we do. I know you feel the same. Know this, I love you and because of that I know that starting a relationship will be the end of what we have between us. I prefer to have you in the distance that not at all. I prefer to wait for a fairy tale in another time, in another place. But in this present of us I like to have you as my best friend, the friend that I think knows me inside out.”

Always the same with us, there’s something in there, but we decide not to listen, was that a good choice to do? I didn’t think so then but now I do. I have to say good bye now because you are about to arrive and I want to have this letter ready for you as a thank you for coming to celebrate with me my new business and your new relationship. But thank God that I had a couple too; otherwise I really don’t know. Thanks.

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