My Stronghold

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          Have you ever been into that hard situation where you felt like God abandoned you? That feeling you get when you think about the hard and long hours of prayers you devoted everyday and then get burdens, struggles and hardships in return? That moment when you stop and think about how you ask God to guide you and keep you in the right track but then you found yourself disappointed and sad because what you asked for wasn’t given to you? Well, I’ve been there countless times. I get disappointed, I feel lonely and the worst, I feel like I was disowned by God. These feelings will suddenly strike my inner self and start disbelieving God’s ability. It’s like I am carried away by the emotions I strongly feel and then poof! “Is God present at all times? Or is he tired and weary in responding to my prayers sometimes?”, I started questioning God’s power and might.

            I am a teenager living normally in this world. I can say that God blessed me infinitely. I have a great faith in Him and in His works. But then, life is still perfectly imperfect; I stumble, I fall and I fail. Struggles and challenges are present everywhere. Temptation is calling my name every time she feels like I am giving in. Evil things and evil people surround me in a way that this world I live in is full of evil elements. Everyone is doomed to fail, and for once, I failed and thought of no one was there for me.

            All our pain and sufferings are consequences of our actions, the disobedience to God’s will. I failed a test not because I am dumb, it’s not because of my teacher or the environment during a test but because I give in to the temptation of using the computer and choose not to study for a test. If a challenge is not surpassed, I easily get disappointed to myself and would result to competition with the world instead of humbling down myself. I ask everything in prayer, all the courage and the strength to face these challenges but then the scene stayed as is. Still, I pray harder. Situations like these made me weak but then I held on to the fact that God responds to us whenever we ask help from him.

           All things work together for our good though sometimes I can’t see how they could. Those struggles that breaks my hearts in two sometimes blinds me to the truth that he is just around. Maybe it’s his way of drawing me closer to him. Instead of being discouraged and dispirited, I tried to pray harder and wait for my prayer’s answers because I believe that people may fail but God’s love never fails. He then placed me into a situation where I realized that I am never alone. Indeed, Life is hard but God is the one who provides. Though I am physically alone, he provided good friends to check me out and cheer me up. Life is unpredictable but knowing that God will always be there, I know where I am into because He guides me in the right paths to take. Sometimes, life is unfair but later on I realized that God still cares because there will always be rainbow after a rain.

            I know that the Lord has a plan for us, but sometimes we don’t understand what that message could be. Well, I don’t think that we’re meant to understand it all the time. I think that we just have to have faith, to avoid doubting His presence and His plans for us. If he is taking away the thing I used to have, I think He is only emptying my hands so I can receive something better and that is this bigger faith in Him within me, within my soul, within my heart. No life is so hard that I can’t make it easier by the way I live it. Now, I pray like I see God and if I don’t see Him, I know that He sees me. Prayer is not a magic word for satisfying my own wishes, but it is an opportunity to work with the Lord in accomplishing His purpose in my life. No matter how hard the situation is, this faith will not be shaken for I know that God is with me all the time.

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