Ways to protect an aging parent without making them feel less independent

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It seams just like yesterday when you were a kid and your strong mother was taking care of you. No matter how many difficulties she met you didn’t feel a thing. That is because you meant everything for her and her purpose was to make you happy.

You were so proud of her! With a job out side the house and the housekeeping she still succeeded to give you all the attention you needed. If today you are who you are it is all because of her. May be she sacrificed things to see you happy.
This days she is old and hardly can take care of herself. The memory of those days when she was young and strong are still fresh in her memory. Time passed quick. You wish of course to take care of her and to ask her to move with you and your family. For not risking to offend her by telling her that she is not able to live alone anymore, just ask for her help. Tell her that you need her to take care of your baby for example.

Depression is very easy to achieve for a women like her used to be independent if you would give the impression that she is one worry more for you. She is not used to depend on any one. With a hectic life, working and having kids, she made a great job and earned her respect in the society. Now if she doen’t have as much energy like before her pride is as big.

If she feels needed again her appetite for life and optimism will get back.

I would not advice to bring your parent to any kind of residence for old people no matter how good services they offer. This would only make her feel abandoned and useless.

Right now your mother deserves how much loved and appreciated she is. don’t forget that time flies and you might not have all the time in the world to show her this.

Tell her from time to time how grateful you are for her moving in with you to help her. Make her feel useful and she will find a new purpose in her life.

The worst you can do is treat her like a baby. Now you are a grown up and of course you don’t need her permission any more for anything. It is very good though to ask her opinion sometimes showing in this way that you’re still proud of her and trust in her judgement. Also try to educate your kids in the same way. Don’t forget that some day, sooner then you think you will be old too and having an ungrateful kid is the worst it can happen for a parent who worked all his life to offer him the best possible.

Having around an aging parent it’s a great thing because old people can be inspired and inspiring!


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