Life, Love & Relationships.

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If only…

by D. LeClair

Sunday July 24th, 2011

If only…

If only it was as easy to believe the positive others say, as it it the negative.

If only…

If only people got married because they loved each other.  Love is the foundation of marriage.  You shouldn’t get married just because you’re pregnant.  Having a baby doesn’t create love, you must have that first.  You should get married to someone because you love them and you want to spend your life with them.  You should get married because you cannot live without them.  You shouldn’t get married for money, because the person raises your social status or because your Brother, Sister, Friends or Family are married (some twice), so you feel like you have to.

If only…

If only people had children because they wanted to have a family to love.  You shouldn’t have children just because your married.  You should have children because you want to have a family to love and care for and because you want to see yourself outside of yourself.  You should have children because you want to continue your family, and leave a piece of yourself behind when you die.  You shouldn’t have children just because your married, or you want to “hold” somebody down to you.  To keep them from leaving you or being with somebody else. Don’t have children because they make the amount of your “monthly cheque” go up, or your Brother, Sister, Friends or Family have a child (some more than one), so you feel like you have to.

If only…

If only people made the choice to quit a bad habit.  You shouldn’t make the choice to quit a bad habit when you are forced to.  You should make the choice to quit a bad habit (whatever your habit may be, we all have them), when you are in possession of, or in the environment of, your bad habit.  This should be your conscious choice to quit even when it is available for you. This will make you stronger in the end when having to be around it in the future. Just because you’re choosing to stop something, doesn’t mean everyone around you is going to choose that as well.  You shouldn’t make the choice to quit a bad habit when you are forced to be without it, because you don’t have money, someone else is stopping you from doing it or due to any other divine circumstance that you are in no control of.  (Example; not having money for a bad habit like smoking.)  Most at this point would say, “Hey I am going to use this time quit”.  You are only quitting because you are being forced into it by lack of funds, not because you want to.  So when you have funds again you will smoke again. You have to want to.

If only…

If only people followed their dreams.  You shouldn’t follow someone else’s dreams for you.  Follow your dreams. You do you.  Do what you’ve always wanted to.  As they say, If you find something you really love to do you will never really “work” a day in your life.  Make your choice and know that even the smallest choices matter.  Not making a choice is in itself, a choice!  You shouldn’t follow someone else’s dreams for you.  Some people didn’t follow their dreams in their own lives, so they are now using you as their second chance.  Don’t make the same mistake as them, use your first chance, and use it wisely.  Don’t live the the life you wanted through someone else, in the end it isn’t you and you didn’t accomplish those things, they did.

If only…

If only people could be with someone for who they are, not what they look like.  You shouldn’t be with someone because you think you can change them, or only because they look good on your arm.  You should be with someone for how they make you a better person when you’re with them and even when you’re not.  For what you love about them, and even for their faults, because nobody is perfect.  We are all perfectly imperfect.  Nobody is a 100%.  If you think of a person as a whole (100%) and they have everything you have ever wanted, but lets say 20% of what you don’t want , then you still have an 80%.  That’s pretty good, I think, (most of us our 80’s ourselves) but some people look at the 20% that the person they are with is missing, instead of looking at the 80% they currently have, and they end up cheating on them with someone who has that other 20% they think they are missing.  The thing wrong with this is, sure you now have (for the moment, anyways) that 20% you thought were missing, but now you have chosen to cheat on your 80 with your 20 and you are left with 20% of what you want!   You gave up the 80% you wanted, because of the 20% they were lacking, and ended up with 20% of what you wanted, now you’re 80% lacking.  People should stop thinking about what they don’t have and start being thankful for what they do have, even if it is 80%.  Never take the one you love for granted.  You shouldn’t be with someone because you think you can change them into what you want them to be, because they can get you further in life, or because they give you money, cars, clothes, drugs or other material items (whatever those may be).  If you want to go around and spend your life dating 20% percent of what you want, and being a 20% of what a person wants, that is up to you. Please leave us 80’s alone.  Us 80’s , are looking for a relationship, marriage,  family, kids and monogamy, the stuff we are looking to give!  If all you’re looking to give is sex, partying and dating multiple people, why bother thinking you are good enough to have an 80 in your life…. 20’s don’t deserve 80’s and 80’s don’t deserve 20’s.

If only…

If only people talked to friends on the street.  You shouldn’t ignore them on the street, and act like you don’t know them, depending on who you may be with at the time.  you should also talk to friends on the street (if you see them), if  they are on your Face-book or other social network.  Don’t pretend to be friends with someone on-line, then when you see them on the street pretend not to know them.  Grow up!  If you can’t say hi on the street, delete them off your Face-book.  You shouldn’t ignore them on the street and act like you don’t know them, but then rape their wall and statuses with comments, likes and responses.  Why bother? Most people see that you talk to them on-line anyway, so who cares if someone sees you talking to them on the street?!?! If you are ashamed for some reason to talk to them in public why have them on your friend list at all.

If only…

If only people took responsibility for their own actions.  You shouldn’t deny your actions, or lie to cover your actions.  You should take responsibility for your own actions.  If you did it, own up to it, and if you didn’t, make it known.  Part of growing up is owning up. Most people have their own opinions of you, true or not and that, frankly, is none of your business.  The only opinion that matters is your own.  You know what you have done and not done in your life, you have been there for all of it, be true to yourself no matter what and if you don’t like something about yourself, well, change it, knowing that you’re worth the work.  If you lie or cover up your actions, it will hurt you in the end and probably someone who doesn’t deserve it.  “You only lie when you’re afraid of something or someone,” said John Gotti.  Grow up and and learn from your mistakes, that’s why they happened.

If only…

If only people did everything they say they’re going to do.  Be true to your word.  You shouldn’t commit to things you know yourself, you can’t do.  Don’t procrastinate.  Don’t put off those important things you want to get done.  You may not be around as long as you think.  You shouldn’t take on too much.  You’ll become overwhelmed.  Learn to say no. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, your word should never be broken. Learning to say no to things will help you keep your word most often.

If only…

If only people said what they meant and meant what they say.  You shouldn’t speak without thinking, it really is like shooting without aiming.  You should say what you mean and mean what you say.  Words can never be taken back, no matter how much you wish they could be.  Even in anger, it doesn’t make it right.  How you see a person, love a person and respect a person, can all change in one moment, just because of words spoken out of anger.

If only…

If only people lived everyday, as if they were dying.  You shouldn’t waste away your talents (everybody has one).  You should live everyday, as if you were dying, because in a sense, you are.  It’s not about what you want to do or talk about doing but it’s about what you actually do.  Sometimes it’s hard to find what it is you want to do with your life, and what it is you’re good at, but it is out there and trust that it is looking for you too.

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