Toxic Friends

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In as much as I never want to cause nor agitate trouble, it always finds its way to me. No, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to play the “the-world-conspires-against-me-victim” here. I am sure that I can speak for the many who has been dealing with the same never-dying-worthless-issues such as this. Not to sound too pretentious as if having a virtuous character, I have to admit that it has been quite normal for people to gossip and pass on stories that are really insignificant about almost everyone who is not so pleasing to them, whatever their criteria may be. I, for one, would surely convict myself for doing the same, no excuses. Well at least let me cite examples of such talked about gossips i have encountered: your friend getting pregnant and her boyfriend leaving her; how your teacher’s husband cheated on who; how you-know-who stole your friends money to feed his girlfriend…you know these catchy stories that make you realize you’ve gossiped about them the minute you’re done talking about it. You know the process.

But lately, I have been encountering people who exaggerates what I initially thought of as “normal”. I mean, hello… so what if your friend drinks coffee everyday from a coffeeshop; or likes taking pictures of herself; or buying herself techy gadgets despite retrenchment at work? What business do you have with that to begin with? Most would defend themselves by saying that if people talk about you, they see something that is not good and that a change is required. WTF! Whoever gave anybody the right to say someone should change just because some God-knows-what-kind-of-people think she should? Well, on a second thought, it would be best if an assessment would be done to see if a change really is needed, but then again, standing by my own principle, so long as you are not inflicting any harm to others, there is no reason for such uncalled for change. Yes, we all have our preferences and opinions and not to mention the right to express them but this does not equally give us the right to abuse and harass people along the way. Whatever happened to “do unto others…”?

One time I read a vulgar comment on my boyfriend’s facebook wall and since there was no way I could contact the person who made the comment, I replied to his post by saying that his comment was uncalled for and that it was vulgar and asked him not to do it again. As a response, he deleted his comment. But to my surprise, (I am exaggerating, I no longer get surprised by these kinds of circumstances whatever you want to call them), my boyfriend’s “friend” set a status on her facebook referring to my act, that is, commenting on the wallpost, as something funny, she even critiqued the way I had written my english hahaha, it was by the way a mixture of visayan and english language. And as expected, she even was excited to share this “funny incident” to another friend, and so, the cycle begins……….again.

I kept on thinking of best ways to deal with these situations, I could ignore them like I always do, or confront them which is the least I would do since really I don’t want to have anything to do with them, or get back and get even. How about you? How do you deal with these kind of people? People who always sees what you do as something wrong; people who could not choose to keep their mouth shut instead they speak ill of you; people whom you don’t owe anything to yet has the confidence to set you as their target?

These people are nothing but toxic to your life, your relationships, to yourself. If you do not remove anything that is toxic, you will get poisoned. Are you going to wait for that poison to eat you up? As for me, anything and anyone who only sees the bad in me doesn’t deserve the good in me either. So why pretend to be friends with these people? They are toxic friends. They will only cause misery to your life. Keep the ones who help you grow, reprimand you for doing something not good then help you up. Water your tree with clean water and it will bear good fruits. 🙂

~bonnie

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