Surrogate Mother Cost
Considering the options
You don’t have any qualms with the different methods of getting to baby that are out there. Infertility treatments, donor sperm or eggs, adoption, surrogacy — as long as you end up with a child you can love, you don’t have moral qualms with any of the alternatives on the table. Your partner feels the same way. …Right?
Don’t be so sure. It’s overwhelming to face the options available if you’re having trouble getting pregnant, but you might be able to strike a few from your list at the outset. You and your partner should talk honestly and openly about the choices available, sharing what you truly think of each. No alternative is simple — under the headings of infertility treatments, adoption and surrogacy fall a myriad of other choices to make. Whether to seek a child or surrogate by yourself or through an adoption agency or surrogacy agency, which websites to browse, which fertility treatments you’re willing to try and which you aren’t — both of you need to have open, honest input. Even if your reasons for preferring one method over another — or flat-out not wanting to go down one of the roads available to you — aren’t necessarily politically correct, it’s important to lay them on the table.
Some couples find that one or both parties have a natural aversion to the thought of raising a child without a genetic bond. If you’re having these feelings, it will probably be very hard to share them with your partner because the mere concept of distinguishing between children on that level is offensive to some people. Sharing will be even harder if your partner is very open to the idea of adoption, or even prefers it.
Even if it’s tough, err on the side of sharing. It’s not fair to either of you to pursue an option that makes you uncomfortable, and shelving emotions early in the process can lead to resentment down the road.
If your own emotions and preferences don’t narrow your options for you, find a way to work through them together and pick a path. Write pro and con lists, talk to professionals, seek advice from friends and family. Do what you must. It’s in your best interest to choose a pursuit and stick with it, giving it your full attention, rather than trying to go down several roads at once. No matter your multi-tasking abilities, getting to baby isn’t a process you should apply them to.