Stripped Naked

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“Stripped Naked” is packaged in the same way as the two “Grindhouse” movies from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez; “Death Proof” and “Planet Terror”. Or rather, it resembles the sloppy, lousy movies made to cash in on the aforementioned films, such as ”Run! Bitch, Run!” and “Nude Nuns with Big Guns.” This is yet another really bad movie, in which the Australian outback provides the exotic milieu. “Stripped Naked” comes from legendary Canadian producer Pierre David’s (“Scanners” and others…) new company Imagination. And just like most stuff David has produced the last ten years, this is one is really, really bad. In the 1990s David produced small but fun action movies, starring Jeff Wincott and guys like that. Now he churns out utterly forgettable dreck — and just the other year he got into an argument (about money, of course) with Italian director Ruggero Deodato about the long awaited sequel to “Cannibal Holocaust”. That project was scrapped. Most productions from Imagination look like TV movies, something they maybe sometimes actually are. And — they seldom deliver what they promise. “Stripped Naked” definitely does not deliver what I expected from it. So, what do I expect to get from a movie sporting the (rather strange) title “Stripped Naked”? Well, lots of striptease, of course! Naked chicks en masse. Unjustified shower- and nude scenes. And since the movie’s tag line is “Cassie’s done stripping … Now she’s about to blow you away!”, I expect an avenging stripper and massive amounts of brutal and gory violence. But what do you get when you pop Lee Demarbre’s movie i the DVD player? You get a film that opens with stripper Cassie (Sarah Allen) fighting with her boyfriend in his car. He throws her out. Walking back home, she witnesses a drug deal going wrong: two men end up shot to death and Cassie finds $90.000 cash, drugs for the same amount, plus a car. She grabs it all, gets into the car and drives home. She continues working at the strip joint, but soon a slimy gangster looking for the stolen money and drugs shows up — and he knows Cassie is the one who has it all. The gangster starts paying unwanted visits to people Cassie knows, and he usually kills them. “Stripped Naked” is an incredibly lame movie. First of all, it’s one of those movies in which the strippers don’t get naked! You hardly get to see any strippers at all, and when they do appear, they just walk around the pole, clothes on and looking uninterested. I’m surprised the club actually has customers. It takes until the last twenty seconds of the movie before we get a glimpse of two topless babes far away in the background. Cassie is a very unlikable character. She screams, cusses and is annoying. Why should I care about her? Her roommate Jade is much nicer — and prettier.

    The cinematography is boring, the music is undistinguished and here’s nothing at all the can be regarded as cool or daring. The movie has nothing at all in common with the grindhouse flicks of the 1970s. The gangster only shoots people and most of the time off-screen. This is as uninspired as it can get. “Stripped Naked” is a very dull, uninteresting and slow-paced movie. And it’s way too prudish. Look up and re-watch the good old “Stripped to Kill” and “Stripped to Kill2” instead.

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