Are YOU holding yourself back from getting what you want?
It may not actually be you. It may be all the people in your life who are toxic for you. They stress you out, they deplete your energy and they hold you back from getting what you want. The catch is that YOU are allowing it.
Not getting what you want isn’t always about money or possessions. Most people do say they want those things, but at their core what they really want is to be happy in life, including having wonderful relationships with others.
It’s important to know money and possessions do not create long term happiness. I know a lot of very wealthy people and they are miserable as can be. They are in lousy marriages, their children don’t talk with them, and frankly, they have very few true friends.
Of course, not all wealthy people live miserable lives. Many people with lots of money have great lives and great relationships. They are happy and they are wonderful people.
We all have people in our lives who say they love us and want the best for us, but their actions and words don’t support it. Then there are those that do. My mother and father raised me in a nurturing environment and only wanted the best for me. They didn’t care what career path I chose or how much money I made. They always told me to be a good person, value people, love what I do, and be happy in life.
My parents were “Keepers,” those special people in your life who empower you to be your own person. I thought most of the people in my life were just like my parents, people who wanted the best for me.
I was at the lowest point in my life when with the help of a professional I discovered that a lot of my sadness and disappointment came from some of the people closest to me. Even though these people were as close as close can be, I had to acknowledge that these people were toxic to me. Once I realized the toxic effect these people had on my life, I had to learn how to either manage myself around them or to diplomatically get rid of them.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn and it was even harder to implement. I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but I was so miserable at the time I didn’t have much choice.
I’m so glad I took the advice of my mentors. It made a huge difference in my life. I took action and got rid of those toxic people.
You probably have toxic people in your life. If so, here are some tips for dealing with this.
1. Acknowledge the toxic people in your life. Write their names down on a piece of paper.
2. Next to their name write down what they do that bothers you and what they do that brings you down.
3. Think about whether you feel you can learn to manager yourself around them or if you need to just get them out of your life. Next to their names write down if you think you can manage yourself around or if you need to get rid of them in a nice way.
4. Go back through the list. If you feel you can manage yourself around a person, write down what you will be doing differently than you are now. If you need to distance or get rid of some people write down how you will do that.
5. Once you start the process, take a moment to notice any differences in how you feel. Are you starting to get your “Happy” back? Good.
Are you ready to give it a try? Good for you!