Victims OF Domestic Violence

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By silver lining 5

MY NEIGHBOR WAS MURDERED BY HER HUSBAND LAST NIGHT

It’s common knowledge that many families are enduring the hardest of times. There are many more women and children being victimized. There is in reality no true or viable excuse for victimizing anyone. I was a victim of abuse so I know what it’s like. My story is a long one, therefore, I won’t go into it except to tell you that I know what it’s like and how hard it is to get out of an abusive relationship, especially when you have no one to help out. Today there are agencies as well as laws to protect domestic abuse victims that were not in place 20 years ago. The public is more aware of domestic abuse therefore more people who would be more ready to come forward to help. Back in the day it was almost acceptable behavior for a woman to get slapped around routinely or at least it wasn’t such a shocking issue. The sad thing about it is that the abuse deeply affects everyone in the family not just the one getting hit. If you are a victim of ongoing abuse, it’s time to seriously consider leaving. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, you are a valuable person to your children and to your parents and friends.

I finally got the courage to leave my husband after 18 years of misery. When I finally did leave, I had no place to go so I returned to the only place I could go, back to my dysfunctional family where I grew up. I stuck it out there until I found a job and I never went back. I had left several times, but I kept returning, however, when I left in 1992…, I never looked back. Leaving was difficult and very scary for me. I was fearful that I might have jumped from the frying pan into the fire in a sense because of the fact that where I went, I was not welcome. If the memories of the stark rage I had seen in my husbands’ eyes wasn’t so horribly etched in my memory, I think I would have gone back to him but I think those vivid memories that kept haunting me must have given me the strength to continue on and divorce him.

Today there are so many ways to get help, not only for a few days but for the beginning of a new chapter in your life. A batterer has a huge chance of turning into a murderer and guess who the murdered might be? You guessed it. I don’t know how many times I nearly got killed by my husband. During a sober moment, which was a rarity he said to me that if I didn’t leave, he would eventually hurt me terribly or even kill me. I know the feeling of being trapped like an animal while dodging blows and kicks and I have watched him as he went looking for a weapon to finish the job. As time passed and I got a little wiser I would escape with my daughter and stay at a motel til he sobered up. I was with that man for 18 years and the abuse started almost immediately after our daughter was born. My daughter didn’t see very much though, I usually was careful that she was with her grandma if I thought things were going to be tense.

Please, don’t waste the best years with someone that will only destroy you and your children. Call someone and ask for help, don’t be embarrassed, give someone the chance to do something. A victim is no longer looked down on or judged like in the old days. You will find so many people that want to be your friend if you’ll only open up. It is common for the husband to resort to threats if you leave but if you stay chances are he will hurt or kill you anyway.

Remember you are a valuable and important person to many people. Get away and have a plan, a safe place to go. Once you leave DON’T go back. Especially do not agree to meet with him. If he begins to stalk you then you should file a restraining order. Make absolutely sure he abides by the restraining order, if he does not you must alert the police.

Yes last night I heard a scream in the night.

It is important that once you leave, you stay gone.

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