For better or for worse doesn’t mean that you are doomed to live through a mistake marriage, or one that has run it’s course. Most people do not get married with the intention, or even the faintest notion that it may end in divorce. Yet the divorce rate statistics seem to fluxuate between forty and fifty percent. If you are wondering whether or not to call it quits the following information may be just what you need to make the call between rebuilding your marriage or parting ways.
First, analyze your situation. Try to see your marriage from an outsiders perspective and ask yourself the important questions, be honest when thinking about your answers. Here are some questions you should consider.
1. Do you find yourselves arguing over things that you both know should not matter. Such as who lost the remote, or who’s turn it is to do the dishes.
2. Are you unnessicarly irritated by your spouse? Does the sight or sound of them put you into a bad mood? If the answer is yes try to find a reason behind your resentment.
3. Are either of you guilty of bringing the past into present arguements? The past is called the past for a reason, if you cannot let go of past indiscretions you will be less likely to see the joy in the present or the future.
4. Do you go through the same arguments day after day? This is where your ability to compromise will come into play. Are either of you are willing to come to an acceptable agreement? The inability to compromise can be devestating to any marriage.
5. Do you find yourselves constantly putting eachother down? Insecurities are like cancer to otherwise healthy relationships as well as troubled ones.
6. Do you still share the same goals, dreams, and values. People tend to change over time. The downside to this being couples do not always grow at the same time, or grow in the same direction. This is one of the biggest deal breakers in marriages.
7. Probably the biggest cause of marital break-ups is infidelity. Cheating is a low, low blow. One many people will never truly recover from.
8. Do you fear your partner? Control and domination will ultimately break down a person’s self esteem, this is absolutley detramental to a marriage.
9. Are you willing to co-parent in the event of a divorce. While staying for your children is never the right answer, you have to accept the realities that you will have to be able to come to parenting agreements for the sake of your children.
10. Can you face the realities of divorce? Some relationships cannot be saved, during these trying times it is most important to keep yourself healthy both emotionally and physically. You need to have your self-esteem and self-respect in tact to make it through.
If you decide that divorce is the right option for you make sure you have a plan as well as realistic expectations. It will be hard, you will face emotions you didn’t expect. In most cases it will be a struggle financialy as well. Your ability to handle these things maturely and confidently will not only give you a feeling of self satisfaction, it will show you just how strong you are.