So how many times do we find ourselves wanting to be mature in a relationship? Wanting our partner to be mature? Wanting our friends to be mature (towards our relationship)?
There is no answer. It is a question that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.
We look for maturity in relationships. It is important of course to keep things hale and hearty, to keep possessiveness levels low, to keep freedom levels ideal, to keep understanding levels meaningful, the list goes on.
But beware! Maturity in a relationship is both a boon and a bane.
Boon we all know why, I am here to discuss the bane part of it.
Understanding each other is fine, but what is your understanding levels somehow transform into patience levels? What is your possessiveness transforms into outright insecurity? What if freedom transforms into something taken-for-granted? We have a problem when maturity levels between two partners are way too high.
I think it’s simply a recipe for disaster. Maturity is good. But know where to draw the line.
Too much maturity kills the small things. The small fights, the impatience, the longing and hell lot more. Remember how did you get into a relationship at the first place?
The small things.
Over time, partners understand each other better, but don’t let this understanding turn into parenting. Keep the child alive; the child that cries, demands attention, the one that fusses… the child that keeps the spark alive even when you turn old.
I am telling you this from personal experience. In my four relationships, I have definitely matured as a person. But at the same time, I have grown younger as a child. At 23, I am dating a girl 3 years elder to me, a girl who has the maturity to die for, but the child? Not so much.
When I walked up to her and explained my take on maturity and relationships, she was amazed, confused and reluctant. She is a full grown woman, okay, no problem.
We put this theory to test, we fought about the little things, I cleaned up dishes (with a fuss), she dropped me to work (with some nagging), I woke her up early one day (5:30AM), she nagged, whined and even hit me, but all I did was loved her even more.
What happened? Today we have decided to tie the knot. Yes, just 6 months into the relationship and we have decided to tie the knot. The best part is, neither bought this up, it just happened.
To sum it up, know where to draw the line for maturity levels. Be the cute couple you once were, that is what got you together, that is what will hold you together.