The NEXT Program is designed to help you overcome these odds, whether you separate or stay together, and to pave the way for a bright future for you and your children.Relationship questions and marriage problems are nothing new. Research indicates that almost one half of married couples admit to having considered a divorce. It might not be surprising then that over a hundred thousand people each month type “save a marriage” into Google. People experiencing marriage problems obviously have relationship questions they are looking to answer.
The question I want to explore is what does it mean to “save your marriage”?
If we just look at the word save, it has several meanings. One is to keep safe or rescue (someone or something) from harm or danger. Another is to prevent (someone) from dying. So, people interested in saving a marriage could be relating to their marriage problems in several ways.
To save your marriage might mean that you think it should be kept safe. Saving your marriage might mean that you see your relationship in need of rescuing. It could be that you are looking to save your marriage because it’s being harmed. Or, you might need to save your marriage because it’s in danger. Finally, you could be interested in saving your marriage to prevent it from dying.
Some of these descriptions might sound outrageous while others might ring true. In any case, all of these examples around saving a marriage share a common thread.
The entire notion of saving a marriage means that it is threatened.
The problem is that human beings don’t do so well when threatened. We tend to react impulsively to resolve the threat quickly. We’ll usually do one of three things; run away, freeze or deny the problem, or attack the source of the threat.
Regardless of which reaction you have, none of them will actually resolve the relationship questions or marriage problems at the source of the issue. Reacting through fear, detachment or anger will actually prevent you from saving your marriage.
It is possible to save a marriage. It starts with putting your reactions aside and then identifying and resolving the real issues. But to really get clear, someone neutral needs to guide you through the process.
There are programs designed to help you overcome these odds, whether you separate or stay together, and to pave the way for a bright future for you and your children.